Time to bite the bullet

1300:

It's decision time.  I say to myself, "Okay, I think I need to take a bold step".  I hope you'll see things my way and come along too.  Then I hesitate.  What if you don’t come along?  What if I have to do this all on my own?  I'll be left like a shag on a rock.  I'll start to feel let down by you, and by others.  Resentment will creep in.  I'm doing it hard, you're taking the easy way out.  If I could ever get past that feeling it would be a miracle.

But the miracle is really just a switch of approach.  If we can enjoying the process of change, in and of itself, if we can make it a satisfying process, then perhaps none of the 'effort' will matter.  It would be part of a creative process, creating a new reality for oneself and trying to keep it going while it still feels unusual.  Once our bold step is no longer hard work, we don't need to manufacture motivation.  Perhaps the trick is not to keep looking around to see what others are doing, or expecting their approval, or expect them to come along too.

         

It's probably more fulfilling to 'go it alone', to make personal repairs and to actually enjoy the 'work' of it all.  By deciding to become vegan, we can certainly improve our health and energy, and that in itself is a huge reward for our efforts, but the bigger bonus is something to do with self-regard.  Undeniably, by making that one decision for our self, we're helping animals get off death row.  Even though this might seem like such a small contribution, it's something that ends up being ultimately satisfying, and one must believe useful for the eventual liberation of animals.

When we get to thinking about our own self-development, our first thoughts of making such a radical ‘repair’ as becoming vegan might seem like a struggle.  But as soon we start the repair, we go into a creative mode, we become a different sort of person, just by that one move.  The satisfaction comes with doing something caring, and empathetic.  It feels as if we're doing something big for ourselves, and something for the greater good.  It might start out as all self-discipline but gradually becomes a new type of enjoyment.  Ask any athlete how it works - keeping fit by training, putting in the time and effort, and finally seeing it starting to work.  I suspect all forms of self-development work in the same way - we end up proud of our efforts, better body and mind, and we see things with a more intelligent attitude

         

Working for the ‘greater good’ might sound a bit grim until we begin to enjoy the rewards of our efforts - selflessness is probably less about the glow-of-being-good and is more about an overall self-benefit.  That sounds like a contradiction, until we recognise that what we want for others is what we want for ourselves.  Or, put the other way around, what we do for ourselves can ALSO be of benefit to others.  This is neither me-centred nor you-centred but merely a balance of both interests at the same time.  It’s surely the most intelligent way of organising our life.  And if you've tumbled to this realisation, why expect anyone else to have done so?  We don't need anyone else to hold our hand or assure us we're going in the right direction.  Once you've done a few of the hard yards it becomes almost too obvious to mention.  But old habits die hard and we expect any changes we make to blossom overnight.  We might have to get used to the idea that any rewards won't necessarily appear straight away.