Some self deprecation goes a long way

1314: 

In the weekend newspaper I read this snippet on vegans – "How can you spot a vegan?" goes the joke. "Oh, they'll tell you".

The general perception is that vegans are a bit up themselves.  And while that image sticks we need to disabuse people of it.  We probably can’t help seeming to be righteous and intense, which makes non-vegans feel either callous or too casual.  So, to readjust things, I try to do what comedians do, and risk everything by laughing at myself, if only to get the audience on side.

By being self deprecating we can make ourselves look simple but it’s really the only way to get the human dynamic working in our favour.  Before plunging into the information we want to impart, we have to know how receptive someone is to it.  What we don't want is for it to wash over them or alienate them.  I prefer to take people by surprise, where they expect one thing, and I give them something quite different.  When asked, “Are you a vegetarian?” I usually answer, “No, far worse than that, I’m vegan”.  If that’s carried off well, it will get a laugh and open the way for something extra. “... and that means NOTHING from animals”.  If it can be carried off lightly, just that amount of information gives them something to chew on. And of course it might lead to another question.  And from there we can take it further, little by little. As long as the questioner feels safe ...

But safe from what?  It’s nearly always a matter of us not making them feel inadequate, even if they tell us they think we’re crazy to be vegan.  Any sign of superiority from us or any hint of shaming them for eating poor food, let alone dead animals, and they'll want to clam up. It's almost as if they'll be looking for any excuse to bring the conversation or questioning to an end.  However little we mention, reasons, information, warnings, etc, you can almost hear them saying, "Too much information".

We are dealing with very private choices here.  These are regular, continuous food choices.  These are choices which involve guilt about condoning some of the cruellest practices that are barely within the law.  Even if we said nothing, just by being-vegan we live by an ethic far removed from theirs.  So on this most sensitive matter, a little self-deprecation goes a long way in our favour.  If I’m prepared to laugh at myself, they will guess my reluctance to force my opinions on them.  Instead I'll be displaying my respect for them by acting in the most non-confronting way possible.  I'll be attempting to show a manufactured vulnerability to match their own.  I’ll be emphasising our equality by making no value judgements.

So, why would we be having such a conversation at all?  For my part, I'd be wanting to show my interest in their view-of-life, to learn something other than what I know already, to show my willingness to consider all views, even though I'm sure my own views about using-animals are quite clear.

Before ever I get around to inform, I’d be aiming to use self deprecation to reinforce a mutual equality.  I'd be letting them feel not-inferior, establishing a calm atmosphere, paving the way for them to be prepared to listen to difficult information.

In the hands of a good comedian (let’s imagine the subject of his jokes are 'crazy vegans') if we are being sent up as ‘bleeding hearts’, animal lovers, fussy eaters and tree huggers, then we laugh with the best of them.  In our own self-deprecating hands, we too can describe ourselves like this.  By entering into the spirit of enjoying a joke at our expense, we can show we aren’t afraid of being made fun of.  There’s no better way of showing that we’re confident of our selves and our views.  It also proves we have a healthy sense of humour (without which Animal Rights advocacy doesn’t stand a chance of impressing people.)

By being the first to show our naked side, we show trust.  We show that we don’t consider ourselves too important to be laughed at.  And if we can let others see us wearing our clown mask, we’ll be better able to show our serious side as well.  We should never be afraid of seeming a bit weird.  As long as we keep our sense of humour plus a non-violent tone in our voice, we can speak freely without doing any damage.  Then what we have to say won’t be violently reacted against or too easily dismissed.  Our message needs to be strong but sung lightly.