How NOT to meet our adversaries

  

1186:

How’s Veganism going? In some parts of the world they’re very vegan and animal-rights conscious. Perhaps it’s in the doldrums here in Australia - it’s so slow in gaining momentum. Sadly beef-steak-man still dominates here and in many other parts of the World.

In our neck of the woods (Sydney, Australia) people still rubbish any attempt to place animals in a different light. Between vegans and non-vegans there’s still a lot of space. In reality, there’s no big problem for us about that. We’re used to it, if we are into promoting animal rights. It’s not such a damaging situation for us. That is, until we try to communicate with the ‘unenthusiastic’, about Animal Rights. And get rebuffed.

Then we hit a brick wall. Then we resent that other person’s obstinacy, indifference, lack of empathy for these animals - the main damage occurs when we extend our resentment into disliking anyone who won’t agree with us. That’s when another whole set of problems occurs: the stress of being on unfriendly terms with certain people sucks the very lifeblood out of us, both. Is it friendly sparing or is it relating ‘toxically’?

Bruising other’s feelings. Getting our egos hurt. Ending up ‘not-speaking’. It’s difficult, once that emotional flood is released, to let it all float over us. It wouldn’t be so energy-draining and upsetting for us, if we could truly accept that: “what others think about us is none of our business”, but that aphorism isn’t yet widely accepted.

If it were, then we’d almost welcome opposition, just for the challenge it presented. And anyway, this is not a guns-at-dawn-duel. It’s an appreciation of our ‘opponent’ that they feel strongly enough to lay down the gauntlet, to discuss each point, and be brave enough to take a knock. It’s certainly better than a person’s indifference and apathy.  It’s often good to have something to spar over. 

But here’s the trick of it - when we disagree, we must avoid at all costs getting personal. Avoid bringing in emotions best kept out of these sorts of conversations. Leave them outside of friendship or indeed any other social interactions. Those emotions - anger, irritation, sneering, raised pitch of voice, each signal something not entirely friendly, where even momentarily, our mutual-liking wobbles. And in that wobble there’s a hint of a possible collapse.

When we sense that, once that line has been crossed, then it feels as though NOTHING will ever be able to repair the damage of it. A whole friendship can end this way. It’s what happens sometimes, when we get judgemental, self-defending or start to take umbrage. Over this matter. The matter about which we feel so strongly - the enslaving.