Pure zen

881:

Before any of us reach communication-savvy, we have to know that we can deal with flak. Criticisms should never be too hard to handle. Think ‘stage survival’, for stand-up comics, who are heckled every night on stage. I think their tactic can be ours too. They show the opposite of what’s expected. They’re never too shocked by criticism, and instead, so the theory goes, they turn it to their own advantage

Which brings me to a useful tool in the vegan tool box - self-deprecation. It prevents the ego wanting to be right all the time. Zen humour makes it okay to be wrong.  Even if our adversaries rubbish our most ‘robust principles’, especially if they do, there’s always an advantage in it for us. We know they have no ethical arguments to support their dependency on animals, and we know that most of them haven’t thought deeply about it anyway.

As we wait, for their side of things to be as vehemently defended as ours oppositely is, we wait in vain. All we get from them is sloppy arguments. What else can they say? It’s thinly disguised defensiveness. After they start defending themselves, you can expect bugger-all constructive dialogue!!

So, what can you do about it? Well, I think it best, prior to their going on the defensive, to hold back; the time isn’t necessarily right to push things through too completely, not at this stage anyway. They know (they being in the vast majority) that they have a right not to listen. For our part, we make it clear we’re not expecting any comment on what we say.

Here’s my advice: Once we’ve said something powerful, get away from it, go somewhere else in the conversation, change the subject. By not trying (and being seen not to try) to pursue the line of debate, we’re obviously going easy on the heavy-talk. If you were building a wall, you’d sometimes need to stop, to leave space for a doorway. It’s the same with this sort of “serious” conversation. We need to create space.

We’ve dropped our ‘bomb’ for them, to consider the pros and cons and they may take their time considering. It may take a whole lifetime, or maybe in the blink of an eye. By our not expecting a response, and taking charge of  ‘changing the subject’ in the conversation, manoeuvring can happen so fast that it’s best to be prepared. My main rule-of-thumb is to give them the chance to make a response whilst making sure they know I don’t expect any. If I can show all that, they’ll feel safe with me. I could (and probably will) go on about this some more, but for now, in a nutshell:

What I, as a wannabe vegan communicator, need to develop most of all is unselfconsciousness-of-approach. I think, with such powerful weaponry-of-argument, we can sometimes feel too confident. We can come across as too frightening. The most unselfconscious and spontaneous approach is the least scary, the most zen!