Back to judgement again

864: 

Value judgements - we make them frequently. As vegans we feel justified in making them, but we’re not as brave as our beliefs make us feel: we slander those who eat the animals we love and we argue the issues vigorously, but only in our own heads or with fellow vegans. We do it where it’s safe, whereas we should do it in public. We need to be able to put our money where our mouth is. It’s good for us, because it forces us to back up what we say and take any amount of flak. If we have to judge people then let’s do it courageously.

            We, as vegans, have a lot to say. If we can’t be rigorous and yet gentle at the same time, if we can’t resist showing our nasty side, then it’s best to keep quiet.

            We dish it out but don’t like taking it; we all fear being judged by someone else. Perhaps vegans feel invulnerable, that no one would dare judge us, but we should remember that it’s  a terrible feeling, to be disapproved of or judged. For us, as vegans, making judgements is as dangerous as walking through a minefield. That’s where we find the vegan traps waiting for us.

            The safest judgement-target is a person who can’t fight back. That’s when you may not care if they hate you, because they can’t tell you. Vegans tend to make generalisations; we say, “Humans are wicked, that’s why things are so bad”. It means nothing and touches no one in particular, but if we get more personal, where the accuser confronts the accused, then it’s much more of a risk.

            If we start to make judgements, each one leaves behind so much destruction that, forever after, we’re looking over our shoulder for the consequences. Value judging seems to solve something at the time, but it’s like a plate of hot chips, they’re satisfying and filling but they dry you out. I’ve noticed that when I blame someone or I judge them, that I sound sour, and get a reputation for it. Then, no one is inclined to listen to what I have to say. And the more often I fail to communicate, the more often I look defeated. If I lack faith in myself, and consequently lack faith in the way things will turn out, I’ll probably resort to blaming. It’s not that vegans doubt the position we’ve taken up, but generally we doubt our ability to communicate our position adequately. We often seem to want only some sort of support from others, in the form of their agreement with us.

            You know what it’s like? You come away from an exchange with someone, feeling drained and annoyed. It looks like a battle fought and lost. Apart from all the bad feelings left behind, it saps everyone’s energy.

            The alternative to judgement is unselfconscious talking about the issues, without any evident attempt to find agreement. And if we enter the world of judgement-making, we need to skip off it as soon as we make it, as if walking on an ice sheet that is about to melt. Judgements can be useful within our own heads, if only to help support our own values, but if we express them, they must melt as soon as they form.