531:
When things begin to get out of hand for the vegan activist,
when we go into the discomfort zone and the omnivore’s uninterest is made obvious,
that’s when we’re liable to make our worst mistakes. Just before blowing our
top, at some silly or provocative remark, we should let it sink in. We should
use it, to tell us roughly where that person is coming from.
Just this
morning I was in the Council offices, getting a JP to sign my discount travel
pass. And I say to the man behind the counter, “This will get me on buses
cheaply …” And I heard the woman, from the next desk, who was trying to be
helpful, say, “And McDonalds gives you a discount too …”. So, I bristle-up
with, “I don’t go to McDonalds”, with a tone in my voice that says, … “to go
there is beneath me” (as a prelude to, “They serve dead animals there”).
I’d planned
all that out within a second of her comment being made, aiming at a point
further up the track where I could go on to explain why I didn’t go
there. Any opportunity for me to have my say, about McDonalds and their use of
factory-farmed animals.
In this
case I didn’t need to react with anything but a “thanks”.
In most cases I’ll jump in too quickly to defend animals. I’m
reckoning that a small show of anger will help stimulate my adrenalin and prime
me for a smart response. But it will be seen merely as a cheap shot. I shouldn’t
show that sort of knee-jerk reaction? If I were more constructive I’d do it
another way.
I could
instead be acting-out my ‘defender’ role non-threateningly, as if I was
emotionally under control and taking care not to aim my remarks personally. I’d
be trying to be helpful and well intentioned and any anger I show would be seen
clearly as part of my ‘act’.
I had a
teacher colleague once who was always acting as if angry, and she was the most
loved member of staff amongst the kids. She was always honest, consistent and trusted.
You knew where you stood with her ... and her anger was measured carefully, to
be effective, to show her real sense of caring for her students’ welfare. She
was a brilliant teacher, needless to say. It was all part of her craft of being
the good communicator.
A poor
communicator will misuse anger, allowing disapproval to be part of the anger.
This sort of anger usually erupts faster than we see it coming and has a shock
effect. But it makes people wary and suspicious. If we feel it, that sort of knee-jerk anger is
best concealed.
If we are
an animal advocate, we’ve usually got enough on our hands just getting to speak
at all about animal issues. The last thing we need to show is anger. Ours is a
highly charged subject at the best of times. Once out, anger is hard to
retract. It sours the atmosphere. It’s a give-away when it appears. The voice
screeches and the body language looks ugly. To the onlooker it’s like watching
a rhinoceros about to charge.
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