Affection and vulnerability

527:

I suppose most of us like to be liked. If you are promoting a particular argument you’ll want that argument to be liked too. However, once the ‘game is up’, once our nasty side has been spotted, there’s both a drop-off of affection from others, then a drop-off in their confidence in us. Maybe other will think I am using crude techniques to get what I want, rather as if I were a two-years old throwing a tantrum. We peace-loving vegans can get angry and ugly, given the right circumstances, and that’s how we can lose friends when we don’t mean to.

            Meat eaters and other animal users can also have their own nasty side. If any one of them holds on to ‘hard-nose’ attitudes they help maintain the fear-ethos in our society. So, things stay the same out of fear-of-change. If we fear our own hardness it’s likely we’ll fear many very sensible ideas just because they concern the heart.

            Although most of us have a nasty side, a contemptuousness which we use to shock people with, we might be learning how to deal with it. As soon as I realise how difficult it is to keep it under control it’s the start of a turn-around. And then I’ll be showing my willingness to deal with it. And that attempt makes all the difference. It shows me as willing to admit mistakes and willing to learn. It impels me to ‘work’ on myself as well as ‘working on The Animal Campaign’.

The combination of my wanting to contribute to the greater good, while at the same time being unafraid to show my own weaknesses, works well. That combination lets people take comfort, instead of offence, from what we’re saying.