1566:
Strategy and knee-jerk judgements
Does Animal Rights need a
communication upgrade? Maybe I do, anyway. As a vegan I may be guilty of
judgementalism, just as other animal advocates might be. This is a run-away
problem that needs to be addressed, if only to keep it in check. It’s similar
to its opposite - the self-defending obstinacy of the animal-eating masses, in
their insistence on killing and eating animals. It’s a weakness, and that’s all
it is, just as my judgement-habit is a weakness which I'm obstinate to shake
off. But it is ONLY that.
My recommendation to myself
is to show no rancour, no disrespect and no value judgement. It drives me nuts
that so many are still doing what they're doing, but I know I won’t win
anyone’s long term commitment to vegan principles by my disapproving of them or
inducing guilt or fear in them. Only by showing that I respect them and am
interested in their welfare can I ever hope to keep them on side, or at
least taking me seriously. Let’s say we are talking together, you and I - it’s
to my strategic-advantage to go about my business without any ‘finger-wagging’.
If you look at my face,
you’ll pick up how I’m feeling – either I’m relating to you non-judgementally
(signalling that I like you or I accept you) or that I’m being judgemental (serious-serious
voice, signalling disapproval). I'm between a rock and a hard place. I may not want
to be judgemental but at the same time I need to show you my ‘high standards’.
If I’m foolish enough to try to impose my standards on you, I will, in effect,
be risking our whole relationship, just for the sake of letting you know how
‘clean’ I am (implying, how ‘dirty’ I think you are). Perhaps I’ll gamble on
this: hoping that my honesty trumps my attempt to deceive you about how I
really feel. But maybe that's a risk not worth taking, since it's almost guaranteed
to poison our relationship.
If I’m being judgemental it’s
all about values, mine and yours. It’s about me needing to establish my
credentials and showing you that I have something to say. I'm thinking too
up-ahead to apply to you, for my right to say it. If I express a moral
judgement (aimed at you) it’s quite likely you’ll take offence and refuse to
allow me any right to speak.
Judgement. What is it? The
hot flame touched by the young child is judged to be hot – it’s an
evidence-based judgement, and to a more experienced child it's self evident.
Value-judging is different. When I assess your values, my subjective values are
regarded by me to be absolute and therefore better than your subjective
values; it’s likely to come across that way.
My judging of you may not
necessarily be fair or carefully researched, but I may feel compelled to show
it all the same, in order to make my position clear. In a clumsy way, I’m
hoping that the shock of showing the strength of my judgement will ‘wake you
up’, and that you'll be grateful for the wake-up. That's very doubtful!
In the school playground the
same thing happens. You insult me and I punch you in the face before I’ve
thought it through. It’s a powerful moment. My judgement might seem so quick,
clear, almost primeval - I dislike what you do and I’m showing it before I’ve
given myself time to make a more considered response. And I daren't not-respond
since it might come across as my being weak and ineffective. Judge - be quick -
act - don't delay it with even a moment’s hesitation.
When I’m judging you it might
be almost automatic. Each day we make decisions without taking the trouble to
consider them more carefully. Perhaps that’s because we don’t have enough time
or patience - I know that I sometimes think and act almost simultaneously,
instinctively liking or disliking, to suit the occasion. No harm surely - it's
only in my head that this judging takes place. And what's the harm if a little
bit of judgement slips out; when it comes to straight-talking, it might not be
such a bad thing if my friends come to know me as a straight-speaker. But, talking
about such a sensitive subject as our right to use animals? If I haven’t
thought about it carefully enough, I may still be trying to use the
shock-and-attack approach. By my not caring about others’ feelings, it adds up
to a big strategic mistake.
So where does that leave me?
Perhaps, strategically, needing to be very careful about straying into the mine
field of making value judgements.
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