Strategic judgement traps

1259: 

Does Animal Rights need a communication upgrade?  As a vegan I would be all too aware of the brick wall constructed by non-vegans to protect themselves from vegans’ own tendencies towards judgementalism.  For those of us who try to communicate the need for not-using-animals, moral judgements nearly always close down avenues of discussion.  This is something we need to keep in check.  It's much the same as the need for any animal-eater to keep in check their own habit, of condoning the killing and eating of animals.

But to put our own house in order first, I need to knock off my habit of judging.

The first thing that needs to disappear is rancour.  We often fall back on this feeling to strengthen our own convictions.  It’s evident in the way we use disrespect and the way we induce guilt and fear, to get our point across.  It’s a clumsy tool, resorting to value judgements to win our point.  It does nothing to keep others on side.  There’s no strategic-advantage in finger-wagging.

Let’s say we are talking together, you and I.  If you look at my face, it’s likely you’ll pick up how I’m feeling – either I’m relating to you non-judgementally, by giving off signals that I like you or accept you, or I’m signalling disapproval.  If the latter, although I might not want to BE judgemental, my insecure ego will probably wants to show off some high standards.  And by insisting on establishing my credentials, I risk our whole relationship, that might have been loosely based on mutual respect. 

It’s a gamble – me hoping you’ll accept my forwardness, hoping you’ll respect my honesty, about not deceiving you as to how I really feel.

If I’m being judgemental, it’s all about my values as distinct from yours, and my right to have my say.  But it’s likely you’ll see things another way, taking offence at an unreasonable moral judgement aimed in your direction.  You’ll take offence.

Judgement: what is it? It’s not the hot flame touched by the child, since the judgement is immediately made by the flame – “I’m hot, and you’re burnt”.  Value-judging is different. The evidence isn’t as apparent as the hot flame.  It’s the subjective nature of my judgement of you that makes my flame so hot to the touch.  My judging of you may not seem fair, since nobody else is making the same judgement.  For me, who has nothing else to use for persuasion, the judgement is a blunt weapon, but I hope it will ‘wake you up’.

In the school playground the same thing happens.  You insult me and I punch you in the face before I’ve thought it through.  My judgement is almost primeval, delivered before I’ve given myself time to make a more considered response (which I might fear could be less effective).  It might be almost automatic – me not taking the trouble to consider things more strategically.  I’m relying on you respecting me for saying it as I see it - when it comes to straight-talking I’m hoping my making a value judgement might make me seem like a straight-speaker.  But even if you approve of my shock-and-attack approach, it might still look as if I don’t care about your feelings.  And this sets off a whole train of thoughts about my insensitivity, which adds up to one gigantic, strategic mistake on my part.

Which is why we should be very careful about straying into the mine field of making value judgements.