Our friends are not for shocking

764: 

Because animal exploitation concerns me so deeply, as a vegan, I’ll talk to anyone on this subject; it’s me who wants to get a conversation going, so if I bring up the subject, then, effectively, I’ve upped the ante and I must be responsible for what happens next

Living in a free country, you can believe what you like and I can say what I like, but there are dangers. I can’t always trust myself when it comes to ‘turning nasty under provocation’. When I feel anger, defensiveness or ‘violence’ coming on, I should know it’s time to leave, or to change the subject. My ‘passion’, my ‘beliefs’ can seem like boasts. When I say, “I’m vegan you see ...”, it can easily look like bragging or seem to be brutally confronting.

Being in the company of a vegan shouldn’t be something to dread. But as soon as I start getting passionate I often see fear, as if I might mention ‘that subject’.

Being confronted by a zealot, who only wants to tell people what they may or may not eat, is disturbing. But there are practical reasons too why people, like me, shouldn’t confront meat-eating friends without permission. Being asked a question shows I’m trusted, so if I’m ever asked to supply an answer, I’m careful not to give out too much. I have another agenda - I’m observing, I want to see what happens. I’m waiting. I’m wanting to hold back a bit. I know it might take some time for the penny to drop, for a person to realise what I’m moving towards.

Why would I be taking such care? Because there’s a danger that as soon as it’s obvious to them what I MIGHT be heading towards, down come the shutters with all the familiar resistance-attitudes. I guess it’s an ingrained distaste for the idea of ‘going vegan’, a distaste for the impact it would have on one’s social life.

Communicating with friends on any serious subject has to start somewhere, and for me I don’t want to start out ‘heavy’. Normally when I meet a friend we might kid around and maybe say something risky or rude, just to confirm we’re friends, as opposed to our being less intimate acquaintances. Then, if it feels safe, we might slip into more ‘serious talk’. Hopefully, you and I will try to ‘keep it together’, for the benefit of our friendship. Mind you, isn’t that how things should be all the time, about anything, with anyone? By not observing that rule, it’s surely why people from different cultures end up tearing each other’s throats out in war?

I hope that today we take a more civilised approach to our differences. Isn’t that why, today, we’re more likely to confront our differences by ‘workshopping’ the issues we disagree about? Over this difficult subject of using animals for human convenience, it’s up to those of us who initiate talk on the subject, to remind ourselves that even the most ardent carnivore is speakable-with. No one has to be ‘impossible’ to talk to. Even me!