The judgement trap

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Most people know approximately how vegans see their world but they don’t know if they’ll try to convert others. They don’t know what other values a vegan has that makes be civilised people.
If I think being vegan is pretty much how everyone else should be and that I’m right, morally and health-wise, I might not necessarily see what else I must be if I’m going into the persuasion business. If I’m ‘in the right’ then I have to be extra vigilant about seeing my own faults and watching for traps, especially the judgement trap. Otherwise I can deservedly be accused of being righteous, as if I’m looking down on people ... as if I’m better than others. It’s a classic trap, me feeling entitled to judge others who disagree with me, and perhaps if I can’t get people to agree with me I use value judgement to force them my way - I’m right and therefore entitled to use whatever means are available to get you ‘right’ too.
If I attempt to judge someone’s values it’s a subtle form of violence. Even though on the one hand I’m bravely defending animals from being exploited I can still also be violating people’s space and their freedom of choice. It’s dangerous because free-will and choice are regarded by almost everyone as sacrosanct. Over the ages free-will has been fought for and won. We (here in the West) believe ourselves to be part of the dominant group, the ‘free-willed’ society. We don’t want to lose that.
Along comes a vegan who seems to want to take that away. “You are wrong, I am right, this is what you must do”.
From an outsider’s point of view there’s something threatening in holier-than-thou people. One usually wants to bring them ‘down to size’. Anyone who puts themselves forward and thinks themselves better, cleverer, wealthier, better looking or more righteous automatically appears unattractive. No one likes the self satisfied ... which is why I mustn’t come across that way.
Once you get vegans who aren’t judgemental everything changes. A vegan who doesn’t appear to be pushy or too overly persuasive is assessed on such qualities as being unlikely to be judgemental. Sure, I might run the risk of seeming to be too passive and therefore too easy to be ignored, but the advantage of that is I can’t be aggressively attacked and so I never find myself going onto the defensive. And then, perhaps, I can afford a little old fashioned humility ... and in that approach I can find my self confidence, leastways, to the extent that I never have to become strident.
The theory might go something like this: sit back and enjoy advocating Animal Rights. Who can complain? I give no one an excuse to get heavy with me.
It’s like watching a movie, the movie is speaking its message but passively. It doesn’t leap out and judge its audience. Similarly, books don’t judge us. We learn from them, that’s all. We can chuck them out of the window if needs be. The book won’t be offended. Likewise, as a vegan I might ask questions but no one needs to answer them nor should they feel compelled to by being judged badly if they don’t.
So, I put up my arguments. They go into circulation. Maybe what I say causes a disturbance, and perhaps I attract attention. But in my own mind I’m trying all the time to NOT force the issue.