Defending oneself

274:

This friend, who is eating lamb, (yesterday’s blog: having a lamb dish at a restaurant) is wanting to justify it and put down anyone who disagrees with her right to eat what she wants. For her, this whole subject provokes a need to put-down-the-righteous (me). She wants to shift my view. She, trying to convince me to take up meat again and me, when I stop laughing, simply saying “NO WAY”. It’s easier to convince a carnivore to move on than a vegan to move back.
For me to persuade someone who’s set in their ways, to consider what I’m saying, isn’t easy, especially when they’re older people. At some point in their lives this whole matter has been settled (about eating animals). They’ve probably promised themselves, family, friends and colleagues, that it won’t happen, and that it isn’t something they want to talk about. That position is held firmly and underscored by making tasteless jokes about it.
To come out against it (or for it) throws up certain difficulties. If against, it shows a level of contempt which becomes stronger as one gets older because there’s more to lose if one changes sides. For those who do consider changing the problem is one of losing friends ... over these ‘issues’ ... and feeling obliges to take sides ... wondering whether to stay out of it or wade in.
To be for it, and saying so, is something most vegans have to face up to. Should I say what I want to say? If I spoke out could I control my language? And what happens if my words don’t flow smoothly, making me look foolish, as though I hadn’t thought things through? I’d be asking myself if I couldn’t put my ‘defence’ into more powerful words.
These situations crop up suddenly, when I find myself being put on the spot. If I respond by defending both myself and the issue at hand I might be tempted to bite back, to draw their fire ... and then there’s no end to it.
My friend ... the ‘lamb’ ... her making light of it - in this instance it was enough for me to decide that it was one of those times for withdrawing.