Why vegans go out on a limb

Sunday 8th June
The group we belong to, what we may refer to as ‘my group’, is likeminded about certain things. It’s nice to belong, to be amongst people we can identify with … and even nicer to feel special. Most of us want to be part of the group and for it to be approved of, to be well thought of, by family, friends or even by our town. And what wouldn’t we do to be famous in our own country? The bigger the group that 'knows us' the more special we feel. Some people will sell their soul for fame.
But when that prize is stained, when the goals of our society seem wrong and we have to turn away, then we might have to face people’s misunderstanding of us. This isn’t so pleasant. It’s the opposite of approval. It’s a feeling of being alienated, and that feels like real punishment. No one wants to be excluded or to stand out like a freak. So most of us do what others do. We dress the same, talk the same, behave the same … that is, until we come to something we can’t accept and must speak out against, even if we are going to be judged for it. Not everyone who wants to stand up for a principle is strong enough to maintain their stand, especially if they get an unpleasant reaction … especially if it seems unfair. It’s the unfairness that makes us angry, even if it’s only from being ignored.
Animal rights advocates have to put up with this. They feel like victims, so they react, and in so doing become victimisers; they are judged by society for following their principles and in turn judge people who don’t agree with them. It’s like a deadly no-win game we play with our adversaries: it starts off reasonably enough but if it turns aggressive, then dialogue ceases and we become ineffective. Unfortunately some of us become aggressive in order to make ourselves heard and to show how deeply we feel about animal rights issues, and then it becomes a fine line between being assertive and becoming violent. To be outrageously noisy is one thing but to push value judgements into the faces of the people we talk with is always counter productive.
Today, in a place where I was working, the occupant, eating her lunch, said to me “I hear you’re vegetarian” and I hit back with “Yes, I don’t eat what you’re eating”. That was rude. Of course I smoothed it over but I felt ashamed about this – I was put out because she’d been cooking beef for her lunch and I couldn’t stand the smell and had to go out for about an hour, never of course saying a word about it.
As soon as there’s any disapproval in our voice, however convincing our argument may be, the message gets lost in the delivery. And when it fails to get across we aren’t much help to the animals. And we get a reputation of being a bit aggressive or rude, and in that way we lose support.