Animal rights via non-violence

Vegans tell people about double standards and inconsistencies in buying food made from animals. I’ve heard vegans saying things like, “You say you love animals but you eat them”. Saying this to people doesn’t usually go down too well. (No surprises there!). Vegans want to inform but like everyone else they don’t want to be disliked for speaking up. But that’s the problem - how to do it without antagonising. As vegans we may dislike having our views dismissed, but we have to remember that our adversaries feel bad about being morally attacked.
What I think happens is that we vegans feel a lot of compassion for animals and less compassion for animal eaters, so as soon as we start to speak about animals we appear hostile to the human. Perhaps it goes something like this:
“You eat meat? Wow! That is so uncool”. Obviously a hostile statement. Most of us wouldn’t be so up front, so perhaps we’d say “Well, it’s your choice”. But however we say it, if we say it with judgement in our voice we can guarantee a bad reaction. We’re all familiar with the problem here: if we speak too softly we won’t be heard but if we speak too boldly we’ll seem over the top. If we say exactly what we mean (to maximise our impact and to give the impression that our view is important to us) we risk offending people. And if we know the person we’re talking to this is a good way to lose them as a friend.
Whatever we say on this matter, it’s bound to shock, and it’s likely we’ll either be dismissed or counterattacked, depending on how we put it. So how do we say something strongly without inviting overreaction and making further discussion impossible?
Perhaps the most powerful statements are understated. No fireworks, just a statement without too much emphasis. We can say something relevant to the conversation, in passing, which is said so that it sinks in but doesn’t necessarily demand a response. Our key statement can be slipped in between sentences and then moved on from, so that it’s obvious we’re not trying to hammer anything home. It’s a balance between saying something we feel strongly about but softening the shock of it. Example: we’ve been offered a sausage roll, we’d been talking about a film we’d both seen, “no thanks, don’t eat animals. What I really liked about this film was …”.
The whole process of changing a person’s mind isn’t a simple, quick or easy thing to do. It’s likely that we’re dealing with a powerful mind, even an informed mind, a positioned mind that’s resistant to change-on-demand but possibly pliable enough to consider change in the privacy of thinking about it later.
If we are in the business of ‘advocating’ I think the best way to succeed is by not using any force at all. We have to work out ways of approaching this subject without cornering people. We need to establish perceptions first, to show we’re aware that they eat animals and then establish our own position - it may feel right to say that “I see animals as my friends … and I don’t eat my friends”. Or it may not, in which case something milder is needed, something less confronting. But however we put it, we need to make it clear that we hold very different views but we’re willing and happy to discuss things in an atmosphere of mutual respect. Somehow we must get close enough to exchange views without exchanging blows. And that’s where a totally non-violent way is the most effective way.