Thursday, January 10, 2013

A conversation that can’t go wrong


606b

The big danger for the Righteous Person is that we are always trying to win approval. If it doesn’t come voluntarily then we try to get it by boasting. (In this case, it might be me big noting myself about being vegan). Boasting is not a good look, which is why a little inscrutability is useful, purely to prevent that happening.
Such a lovely thing is conversation. We who can engage with one another are lucky. I have a dear friend in her mid eighties who is now just about stone deaf and she can’t engage in conversation at all. A sad loss for all concerned. Conversation is a craft, even an art, so to misuse it, even for good reason, is a sacrilege. For me it’s intercourse - with it I can explore differences and common causes. It helps flex mental muscles. I like talking, but if it isn’t underpinned with ‘compassion’ for the person I’m talking to, then all my talking becomes objectionable, and anyone listening is going to avoid future contact with me altogether.
If I make any clumsy manoeuvres, the conversation stops short and alarm bells ring. Everything changes. What I thought I had before I no longer have.
It’s here where unselfconsciousness gives way to scheming. And the worst of it is, when a conversation goes pear shaped, it progresses into unmistakable hostility or aggression. Which is so not-necessary.

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