Wanting to talk

467:

You might disagree with me on the matter of animal use, but we should all try to rub along together. I insist on it. The potential of this ‘omnivore-vegan interface’ lies in our talking together and understanding where each is coming from. Possibly, for the omnivore, they haven’t thought much about ‘animal issues’ before, and as a vegan it’s likely I’ve forgotten how I came to ‘it all’ in the first place.
What brings in their interest now and what brought mine - what was my own trigger at the time?
When talking happens, things come alive - perhaps right out of the blue this ‘subject’ comes up in conversation. The issues spring up perhaps a little too ‘loudly’ and when they do you can sometimes cut the atmosphere with a knife. I notice how the resistance-shutters come down. And so quickly. Especially if it’s already known that I’m ‘a vegan’.
I find it’s weird when, suddenly, the spotlight falls on me. “Speak”. And the big question is, at that precise moment, how I pitch what I have to say. I want to say this ... but perhaps I’d better say less? Some will genuinely want to find out about it, but it’s likely others will be hoping NOT to cop a lecture.
On the safe side I’ll say less than I’m being allowed to say – I want to establish trust even more that I want to get my ‘message’ out. Anyway, for me it’s a guessing game, as to how genuine another person’s interest is.
If I’m given the go-ahead to speak I don’t necessarily feel obliged to plough on but always to assume my right to NOT comment or to even drop the subject if I sense I’m being compromised or if I smell some aggro in the wind.
I remember the time I was talking on a box at Hyde Park Corner in London, giving a talk and answering questions about the kangaroo situation in Australia. I was heckled badly by one person. He made enough noise that I couldn’t be heard. I had to give it away in the end because all I could do was become even more aggressive with him than he was being with me, and that would put into question why I was talking there in the first place, about violence. Admittedly this is an extreme situation but it showed me how desperately some people don’t want to hear anything on this subject of animal abuse.
If I’m an advocate for animals I might simply want the chance to knock other people’s views on the head. That’s one approach. Another might simply be to assist … to raise general consciousness, but only when there’s permission. Otherwise whatever I say will ‘put people off’.
Omnivores have the right not to engage, but it’s maddening to see them ducking and diving and for me to pretend not to notice. I try to get a fire going even with damp wood so our conversation might eventually roar like a fire up a chimney ... and yet, when finished, still to leave on good terms.
If it doesn’t work between us, if it turns into a bun fight over who is right, then it’s my fault initially - it’s likely I’m forgetting to monitor your feelings, as if they don’t matter. And if my ‘riding roughshod’ is sensed, conversation becomes heated ... neither is being allowed to say their piece. At some point, mutual respect was thrown out the window. At some point both sides lost interest in communication. Clear signs of an unintelligent and unsuccessful meeting.