There’s such a thing as a loaded question, and then there’s
the intrusive ‘direct enquiry’, “How do you feel about it?”, or maybe there’s
no need for questions at all, since it’s all obvious! But right now, “views”
are not the issue, because we’re really trying to test the waters, find out how
far we can constructively go, without dipping down into damage-mode.
Sometimes I’ll find myself asking questions, at other times
I’ll be manipulating the conversation towards something that interests me (not
you, me!) whilst careful not to let you see that that’s what I’m doing. I don’t
want it to be obvious that I’m leading you into a minefield. If, at any point
it tips, when things turn from casual to stiff and suspicious, then we are
exposed. When it comes to the transmission-of-feelings, each of us ‘reads’ them
quite adequately enough and, accordingly, evaluates the other person. Our
omnivorous friends are not stupid, they recognise how the evangelist operates.
So, am I a proper listener, and not just someone pretending
to be interested, waiting for my turn to come in and perhaps attack? All of us,
whether vegan or not, should be a ‘consider-er’ of their own and others’
beliefs. By our ‘consideration’, we show that our primary interest is in
conversational dialogue (not in conversion). Both sides have equal rights of
expression. With the prospect of such a mutually-benefitting and non-violent
exchange, why would anyone doubt the need for equal-ness? It’s central to all interactions,
and it’s what vegans must be able to settle in to, even when we’re with the
most outrageous carnivore, or the most outrageous anybody? We’re equals. But
there is a difference. Unlike our omnivore friends, in terms of
the Really Good Stuff, we have one great advantage. Apart from enjoying better
health we also enjoy a feeling of knowing who we are - identifying and living
by a non-violent philosophy. And, what’s more, we undoubtedly derive much of
our confidence from knowing that our dynamite arguments are watertight.