Sunday, October 4, 2015

How to meet the optimist in you

1504: 

Even though we humans impose upon the world the very worst attitudes, unbelievable levels of indifference, lack of responsibility towards the weak, and an acceptance of a damaging value system, all this shouldn’t make us pessimistic.  It’s the ultimate challenge-to-change, helping us face each other and, despite differing viewpoints, resisting the temptation to go to war with each other.

It’s as if we are the victims of a divide and rule system, designed to keep us at each other’s throats, to keep us bickering and weakened.  Our non-acceptance of each other’s differing views easily turns into a non-acceptance of each other as whole persons.  We take-against someone for their poor attitudes, and inevitably value-judge them, dislike and disapprove of them.  In another location, the same 'hardening' has to take place, in the way farm animals are treated. It helps the human do terrible things to these animals, in order to break them, kill them and use them for food.

Meat eating and making value judgements are destructive in dangerous ways.  Going down that road keeps us hardened, weakened and warring with each other.

For each individual, life on this planet is governed by our 'at-home' behaviour.  That's where moods such as 'pessimism' show up along with being unfriendly and lacking self control.  Where, for instance, adults get frustrated with a child's behaviour and go too far.  In trying to correct a child, they end up showing disapproval not only for the bad behaviour but for the child.  They act the bully.  Kids have to take it, because they know they are trapped by their lack of freedom and lack of experience-of-life.  The biggest damage to children comes when they sense 'dislike' in the air.  The adult's attempt to exert pressure and bring about better behaviour, often strays into a no-go-non-acceptance of the whole person.  It's as if, in an instant, a faith is broken.  What the adult has done is make-separation.  And once done, there's less chance to restore balance.  I know people who haven't spoken for forty years, after some remark was made and feelings of dislike shown, and this wasn't cleared it up at the time!

Is it all about ego/pride/face-saving?  Is that how these conflicts arise?  And similarly (at-home or in general), where one country is ever at the throat of another country?  Is this really just pessimism, a belief that things aren't going to get better?  And following on from that, we cobble together some sort of solution that we know can't possibly work.  And the inevitable failure makes us angry and frustrated, and that's where the violence comes in.  Never more evident if you've ever watched the angry shouting and corresponding fear-caused, when humans are trying to direct cattle down the chute at the abattoir!

But, in human-to-human relations, once the semblance of friendly exchange gives way to using force to get what we want (usually we want agreement) control of the situation is lost.  This 'going off' at someone can sometimes intimidate them enough to make them submit, but that misses the point. It is never the solution, only the buying-of-time.  Whatever force we use, even though it might look like a solution, all it does is reduce one's own feelings of being overwhelmed by the problem.

It's here that something important breaks: you abort on the other person, or they with you.  In families, this is where many parents give up on their kids, and vice versa, because neither will let go of their underlying pessimism.  And so force is resorted to, making break-through impossible.


If we always insisted on forging positive feelings, then intelligence will be directed towards non-violence.  It might put demands on our patience, for it takes longer, seems harder, and there's no audience for applause.  But it's likely to prevent break-down.  Where there's affection there's no-way you'll abandon the other person, or in any way leave them behind.   Or 'go-off' at them.  The optimist always does everything possible to avoid separation.  The optimist isn't afraid of being positive. 

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