Fighting talk

992: 

If I’m talking about things with fellow animal advocates I’m encouraged to speak boldly; the animals need a vigorous advocate.  But things are different when I argue my case with an adversary.  On this sensitive subject, where there are few strong arguments to be made for animal slavery, there’s a reluctance to discuss it at all.  So if the subject arises and I intend to say anything at all, I’m having to work hard simply to get permission-to-speak. I can debate my case patiently, but I might not have your go-ahead, in which case you’ll turn off, and I’ll be talking to a brick wall.

I have to be sensitive to how much interest you have in this subject, so I’ll watch carefully, I’ll be alert to signs of your attention wandering, your eyes drifting off my face, even that you’re beginning to feel negatively about me.  I’ll be asking myself if I’m going on too long, becoming too locked-on to my own point of view to allow you to say something.  On the even subtler level, I’ll be monitoring my own tone of voice in case there’s an aggressive edge there, scaring you off.

If I miss any of these signs, it’s likely you’ll start to give out signals of your own.  Signals saying that you only wanted the subject to be touched on lightly.  Indicating that you don’t want to be cornered into agreeing.

If you and I do get to discuss this subject seriously, it’s likely major differences of opinion will arise.  And if things get heated, what then?  Do I try to ‘bring it on’?  Or do I step back, to prevent things getting out of hand?  If so, I’d be showing how non-violent I really am.  Or rather how respectful I am, by stopping myself before I stray into the personal or even become aggressive.

It’s frustrating for me, when I get a chance to speak, to have to cut myself short before I’ve even got going.  But that is the reality when dealing with this particular subject.  I might have to ask myself where it comes from, this determination to say my piece, even to provoke someone in order to get a reaction?  I need to look deeply at my motives, and to what extent I value another person’s free-will and their right to disagree.  I need to question why, when things aren’t going my way, I can be confronting.  Or if the shoe is on the other foot, and it’s me being confronted, how that might make me feel and how I will handle it.