Nasty vegan opens fridge door

821:

I’m round at your place. You’ve offered me a beer, “Get one from the fridge”.

            As I’m grabbing a beer, I also take a peek in your fridge. I see some horrible items there. But what right do I have to look?

I might know how farm animals suffer, and think you should know too, at least enough to avoid buying this stuff. But there’s something else at stake here. There is a question of your right to privacy. You may not want me prying, interfering and commenting. Beer in hand I say, “So, you’re still buying sausages, then”. It depends on the nature of our relationship whether I’m just being cheeky or outrageously rude or attacking.

However well I know someone, if I over-step the mark I could ruin any chance of ever having a real conversation with them on this subject. Perhaps I don’t care what you think of me. Perhaps I want to see you squirm, since I’m so angry at what’s happening to animals - you being a consumer of animals, perhaps I’ll say whatever I want to say. Maybe I just want revenge.

            For some vegans, judging others can feel quite satisfying. We say, “They won’t forget that in a hurry!”, but we judge others at our peril. By peeking into your fridge and then insulting you for choosing to eat meat, I lose your trust and wreck any chance of having a useful or reasonably friendly conversation.

            It’s possible that you might want to give me a chance. You might show some interest. The trouble is, when the chance arises (to talk Animal Rights or Veganism) perhaps I grab the chance a little too hard, and my enthusiasm overflows the bounds of normal conversation. And that’s your warning signal. If I think I can push the boundaries, because this subject is so urgent and universally important, I might even think you’ll be impressed by my passion. But any enthusiast, who knows their subject and loves to rave about it, once they are given any encouragement will bore you silly for the next half-hour. If you give a talkative vegan a chance to have their say, it could be quite interesting to hear what they have to say, but if it goes on too long or gets too deep, it’s going to be irritating.

            Okay, well I suppose it’s obvious where this is heading. When vegans are ‘at their best’ they can also be at their worst. This can be where the real damage is done. This is where we might at first sound most interesting but also most threatening, and where our ‘listener’ stops identifying with us. This is where they conclude that we are both righteous and predictable. And I think this is where they’re likely to shift across from a grudging acceptance to outright dislike, saying to themselves, “I’m not sure I like this person”.

            After this, and probably for ever after, this vegan (and by association all vegans) will ‘smell’ so badly that they’ll be avoided in future.

            So, passion-driven talking should not go on too long and commenting on the contents of other people’s fridges is definitely not on.