Fighting talk

1817: 

If I’m talking about things with fellow animal advocates, I’m encouraged to speak boldly; we will be in agreement that the animals need vigorous advocacy. But things are different when I argue my case with an adversary. On this sensitive subject, where there are few strong arguments to be made for animal use (enslaving animals, in other words) there’s a reluctance to discuss it at all. So if the subject arises, and I intend to say anything at all, I’m having to work hard simply to get permission-to-speak. I can debate my case patiently, but I might not have the go-ahead from the person I'm talking with, in which case they’ll turn off, and I’ll be talking to a brick wall.

What is it like being in your shoes? I have to be sensitive to how much interest you have in this subject, so I should watch carefully, be alert to signs of your attention wandering, your eyes drifting off my face, even notice if you’re beginning to feel negatively about me. I’ll be asking myself if I’m going on too long, becoming too locked-on to my own point of view to allow you to say something. On a subtler level, I should be all the time monitoring my own tone of voice, in case there’s an aggressive edge creeping in, scaring you off.

If I miss any of these signs, it’s likely you’ll start to give out signals of your own, trying to indicate that you only wanted the subject to be touched on lightly. Not wanting to be cornered into agreeing.

If you and I do get to discuss this subject seriously, it’s likely major differences of opinion will appear. And if things get heated, what then?  Do I try to ‘bring it on’? Or do I step back, to prevent things getting out of hand? And if so, that would be a plus, since I’d be showing how non-violent I really am. Or rather how respectful I am, by stopping myself before I stray into the personal or become aggressive.

It’s frustrating for vegans when we get a chance to speak, to have to cut short before we've even got going. But that's the reality when dealing with this particular subject. We might have to ask where this determination comes from, to establish my position, even to provoke someone in order to get a reaction? We need to look deeply at our motives, and to what extent we value another person’s free-will and their right to disagree. We need to question why, when things aren’t going our way in a discussion, when we've been unable to sound convincing or have the appropriate facts at hand, we can resort to being confronting. Or if the shoe is on the other foot, and we're being confronted, how that might make us feel and how we will handle it.