Attachment and detachment

1640: 

What does it feel like to feel ‘respect’ for something or someone? Or disrespect, or more usually uninterest?  I think I’m typical here, where I’m constantly choosing between the two - coming forward or moving away from.

I’m deciding who or what to respect or to trash. I know I can show amazing loyalty and affection for the loveable, and conversely for the unloveable. I see how it happens. Things I get bored with, or even friends I’ve lost interest in. But whether it’s possessions, friends, cats or even gardens, they each have the power to benefit us or bring us down, depending on how we treat them. And overall, we hope to be inspired by our relationships and particularly the truthfulness of them. We find it inspiring to be around dogs and cats, because they don’t pretend to be other than they are, and that’s so endearing. They’re always ready to play, dogs nearly always affectionate, cats so intimate. They bring out our own ability to show closeness and affection. Animals, domesticated or wild, can bring out the best in us.

         

It’s probably the reason so many people live with an animal - the influence of a cat or a dog lets us see our sensitive side. But not necessarily our goodness, because with the less-dear or the less-loveable, human or non-human, we don’t always act so honourably. That smelly homeless man on the street corner, asking for money - many of us try to ignore him. Or that not-so-attractive animal that’s about to be eaten for dinner. It’s easy for us to abuse them since they pose no threat to us – we say, “They can’t possibly hurt me even if I hurt or ignore them. They have no power or hold over me”.

It’s easy to show kindness to a cute puppy or a sweet child, but we might not have the same inclination towards a stranger and feel even less inclined to consider the feelings of an anonymous farm animal that’s going to be turned into food.

But all this is changing. We’re becoming more conscious of a shift taking place, where the hard-nosed human is starting to look ridiculous and where the once-reviled ‘bleeding heart’ is no longer ridiculed. The gentler, kinder character is starting to win favour. Today, we can see the balance point changing, moving away from dominance and force to a subtler, more sympatico approach.

We’re still in transition, but a move towards the kinder and more compassionate looks like the intelligent way to go, fitting better with this ‘age of relationships’. We’re learning how to relate to things, to people, to the disabled, to minority groups, to farm animals, to forests, etc. We’re beginning to see the advantages of acting more interactively, symbiotically and more altruistically. And now, we see that sustainability isn’t just a groovy idea but a vital necessity.

Is this the idea of ‘doing the right thing’? Not necessarily. Is this a new morality? Maybe not. What was once a duty or a strictness or a discipline is now becoming an enjoyment. We don’t have to be earning merit points or winning each others’ approval for what we do. It just comes with the territory, of becoming more sensitive whilst being more resilient and less in need of outside encouragement. Instead of obstacles to be overcome we can see possibilities.

If we are about to rescue our species from ignominy, it will spring partly from a sense of ‘right action’ and partly as the most fulfilling thing we could ever think about doing - enjoying doing useful things, in other words. Work as play as work.