Eating out

1508:

I go to someone's place, and I’m offered the usual snacks and drinks.  “No thanks”.

         

‘Stunned’ is the best word to describe the reactions I often get.  I’m met with utter incomprehension, when I decline some ‘cheesy-bit’ on a plate, which everyone else has dived into.  If pressed, as soon as I give my reason, I’m labelled weird.  At a social event, someone might race around, to find me something I can eat.  But most people are defenders of the faith, and secretly resent my finicky eating habits, for that’s what they turn this into.

From what could be a simple, “Ah, you’re vegan then”, and a recognition of the significance of the compassion-angle, instead I get irritation, at my being ‘fussy over my food’.  I don’t get asked why I’m fussy, because that would step into dangerous territory.  They'd have to admit to knowing about animal-cruelty and farming practices, and they know to steer well clear of any of that.  So, socially, vegans are a problem.  Just about everyone realises that opening any sort of discussion about that will make them feel uncomfortable.

Those ‘cheesy snacks at the party’, and my refusal, and their wondering if it’s something to do with nutrition and being 'vegetarian' for reasons of health - that's the most familiar line taken.  It is supposed that I would believe “It’s healthier being vegetarian”, and then they might expect to hear about animal-food containing too much fat or sugar or being too high in protein.  What they may NOT expect and certainly DON'T want to hear about is the Animal Rights-angle.  It makes for uncomfortable feelings, talking about ‘hens-in-cages’.

So, as a vegan (as a potentially socially-threatening person) I’m not often asked out.  Or if I am invited, I can be sure not to be asked about the reasoning behind my food choices.  I'm not an especially unlikeable person but, in a potential talk-off, I’d probably be regarded as a social pariah.

I don’t go around looking for a fight with friends (although, I’ll certainly want to stir things up in the public arena, given half a chance).  Amongst friends, I’ll never be the one to bring the subject up.  If anyone else does, then I'll pursue things, but for no longer than their interest holds, or beyond where they’ve finished asking questions.  It’s easy to become a bore on this matter.

For my part I don’t see myself as a punch-bag but nor will I let this subject be trivialised.  I wouldn’t let anyone get away with saying something outrageously contrary to how I see things.  Also, for my part, I hope I’ll never merely report just the bare facts.  However, releasing too much too soon or by becoming too emotional about it all, is a trap.

They know that we know.  And they know that a diet comprising large quantities of animal-based foods, make them fat, and encourages heart disease, diabetes and sometimes cancer.  But as for discussing this, no person in their right mind would go there.  And certainly not when they are eating their favourite foods.  So perhaps it's best I'm not often asked to eat out.