Eating out

1199: 

I go to peoples’ places and I’m offered the usual snacks and drinks. And mostly I simply say, “No thanks”.

         

‘Stunned’ is the best word to describe the reactions I often get.  Too often, I’m met with utter incomprehension, like when I decline some ‘cheesy-thing’ on a plate, which everyone else has dived for.

If pressed, as soon as I give my reason, I’m labelled as being a bit weird.  At a social event, someone might race around, to find me something I can eat.  But most people are defenders of ‘the faith’, and secretly resent my finicky eating habits, for that’s what they turn this into.

From what could be a simple “ah, you’re vegan” and a recognition of the compassion-angle I’m taking, I get the other extreme - irritation, at my being ‘fussy about food’.  I don’t get asked why I’m fussy, since that would be stepping into a dangerous area. On some level they can guess that cheese probably falls into a grey area, and that cheese and dairy and cows and cruelty might be connected; and that this is something of a problem that I might want to mention, given half the chance.

They know to steer clear. Either there’s a danger that I’ll make them feel uninformed or unethical. Mostly, they suspect it’s a health issue, and something to do with nutrition. They might expect me to lecture them about animal-food containing too much fat or sugar or being too high in protein and therefore harmful to health, etc. What they may NOT expect is the Animal Rights-angle, making them feel profoundly uncomfortable.

So, as a vegan, refusing foods that everyone else enjoys, makes me seem like a threatening influence, which is why I’m not often asked out to eat.

Ouch! And if I’m ever asked for my reasoning behind my food choices I simply come across as a social pariah. I’ll never be the one to bring the subject up. But if others do comment then I’ll pursue it. But my reply won’t be lengthy, in order to avoid losing their interest. It’s easy to become a bore on the matter.

For my part I don’t see myself as a punch-bag, I wouldn’t let anyone get away with saying something outrageously anti-animal.  However, releasing too much, too emotionally, is a trap. My incredulity (I never cease to be amazed!) can’t be shown, on any account.

When we’re amongst omnivores, we know that they know we know - that their foods make them fat, and it encourages high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and sometimes cancer. For them the very idea of discussing this is out of the question.

If I’m going to talk about all this (even getting close to a point where the subject is about to be raised) I need to know if that person is willing to hear what I have to say, and that means I need to know something about that person - that they can take it, and that they have faith in me not to want to make them feel uncomfortable.

I must have up my sleeve something to catch attention. I’m in the business of selling veganism, trying to make it irresistible, and therefore so attractive that they must TRY it. And in trying it, of course, I expect they might become hooked.

For the advocate, full of good intention, the traps are, in order of appearance: it’s too easy to show off; it’s too easy to make sweeping statements; it’s too easy to be outrageous, and it’s too easy to win the argument. At this early stage in Animal Rights consciousness we probably don’t need to draw that much fire. We don’t need to make it too easy, for anyone listening, to change the subject. It’s often the case that we can be drawn into and get bogged down in fine details, because it too nicely avoids dealing with ‘more uncomfortable matters’.

As animal activists we won’t be able to satisfy every inquirer’s questions about diet and nutrition and health, although we should try. We now know that science is arguing both health and environmental advantages for eating animal-based foods and for keeping animals intensively for their lower carbon emissions. So, I reckon my best approach is to appeal to the heart.

Our job, as vegans, is to assure people of the general safety and health of a plant-based diet, and then move on to explain all that stuff about how animals are treated as machines, etc, sprinkling into the mix the fun of being a vegan. Our final point being that there’s great self-advantage.  The main attraction boils down to this: “You’d be mad not to try”