Conversations

1117: 

Edited by CJ Tointon

If you're an omnivore and I say that you should stop eating animals, I am, in effect, proposing a major change in your lifestyle and eating habits.  I’m not only alluding to the wrongness of animal slavery, I’m also saying that animal food is dangerous for your health.  I realise you don’t necessarily want to hear this, but it's what I want to talk about.  I want to stimulate debate and encourage others to discuss 'Animal' issues.  But it might be a case of me-wanting, you-NOT-wanting.  I have a big job on my hands. I have to be careful that my motives appear genuine, that I’m not self-aggrandising or appearing to be trying to score 'clever points'.  All I want is to engage you on this subject, not necessarily have an argument with you.  I need to show I’m genuinely interested in what you have to say, especially because you might be able to add another dimension to the argument.  I’m not trying to get the first punch in and I don’t want to force a submission, quite the opposite.  I'm interested in listening to genuine concerns and discovering new ways of talking about 'Animal Matters' without stirring up too much high emotion.

But let’s be frank.  This is an emotional issue for me.  I want, more than anything, to have a free flow of ideas. Surely, any good conversation develops this way, each idea flowing on from a previous comment.  If we’re discussing Animal Rights, we’re all hopefully learning something new, comment by comment, and we’re also learning how to listen to each other.  We shouldn’t be ashamed if our opinions aren’t fully formed or if we feel vulnerable.  For my part, I don’t want to look too alert, in case you think I’m trying to trap you into making a mistake that I can then correct.  I don’t want to prove anyones' opinion is wrong and I certainly don’t want you to think I’m just waiting for my turn to jump in, to say what I want to say.

       

If I’m feeling personally marginalised, it could make a difference to the way I express my feelings. Vegans should be aware that they come across as minor players who hold strong views about minor issues, pressing their views onto an ocean of major players with equally strong, opposing views.  Even if I feel isolated and outgunned by the confidence that others draw from being in an absolute majority, I shouldn’t try to even things up by trying to crush opposing views.  For the majority, conformity feels 'safe' whilst the non-conformist vegan philosophy feels very 'unsafe' to them.  Vegans are up against an almost impenetrable wall of opinion and attitude.  We therefore have to be a bit 'canny' and certainly not be too pushy even when we have the floor or taste an advantage.  We have to be subtle enough to look after our image even when we’re talking to a friend who may already know where we stand.

I find in an ordinary, any-subject, everyday conversation, I’m largely unselfconscious when speaking.  I speak spontaneously. (When you think about it, it’s incredible that before the right words have been chosen, our reply has already left our mouths).  In less-ordinary conversations (say on a contentious subject like Animal Rights) whilst trying to appear more confident than I feel, I tend to get 'speedy' and then I come across as 'too heated'.  I need to appear very sure of my views, but if I express myself too hard and seem too passionate and definitive, there’s a danger of straining my relationship or friendship with you.  It works in the opposite way too.  Softening my words too much for fear of offending you, inhibits my freedom of speech.  Like walking on eggshells.  Either way, nothing useful is achieved.  I have to be wary of the trap of forgetting that I’m in a delicate position and defuse any difficult situation before it can flare up.

I only mention the above, because I know from firsthand experience that discussions regarding Animal Rights,  usually get out of hand quite quickly.