Isolation and good intention

942: 

In our western countries,  the Animal Industries do well out us - each of us eats 21,000 of their victims over the average lifetime.  Just in that one, frightening statistic it’s obvious that the ‘no-use-animal’ principle should be taken seriously.

Those observing vegan principles,  out of a horror at what’s happening,  stay clean,  stay clear of it,  even if it means isolating ourselves socially.  We aren’t liked for our non-omnivorousness since we deliberately disassociate ourselves from our friends and family.  And all because of different eating habits.

Luckily for us this is not the 1940s,  when veganism made its first appearance.  It’s seventy years later now, and people are so much better informed and less freaked out when they meet a vegan.  There may be more vegans now, but not many more, and we are still scattered thinly across the globe.  For me,  the up-side is that my fellow comrades,  by sharing my boycott,  make me feel less abnormal.  Nevertheless it’s not pleasant being misunderstood by just about everybody else,  and it’s particularly unpleasant being left out in the cold socially. Poor us!!

But we’ve got nothing to complain about when we compare what we have to endure with what ‘domesticated animals’ go through.  Imagine what it must be like for them,  to feel so utterly abandoned.  They only have us to fight for them.  I’ve often wondered what their mental state must be like,  knowing on some level that the only purpose to their life is being a slave to another being.

It’s as if Nature had allowed humans to take and enslave her gentlest creatures,  thereby showing us how spiritually reprehensible slavery is when we eat the animals we enslave and kill.  Vegans today can’t expect friends to agree with them.  So,  perhaps some of us have got a few problems with omnivores;  it’s hard to ignore the difference in approach.  We have different values to them and because we think they’re better values we can’t help feeling ‘better-than’,  and that makes for difficulties.  We act out our differences every single day and they can’t be fudged or swept under the carpet.

Omnivores don’t think twice about getting together socially and ‘eating-animals’ together.  They understandably don’t like talking about food when it gets ethical.

If vegans mix socially with omnivores,  whenever food’s involved,  there’s a hint of awkwardness.  We often hear the same sort of apology,  “Sorry you can’t eat this” (you’ll notice they often use the word ‘can’t’ not ‘don’t’!).  Perhaps they’d like to say,  “Sorry that we’re eating your friends”,  but they don’t.

The fact is,  there’s such a gulf between them and us.  It might not surface,  but we all now it’s there.  Not much of a problem for them but for us,  we need to be able to absorb this.  Not get too uptight about it.  We have to adjust,  accordingly.

If there’s an event ‘with-food’,  you might hear,  “Oh,  I’ve just remembered you’re a vegan” (carefully mispronounced vayg’n) and they’ll expect us to enjoy the standing joke with them.  It happens everywhere,  whether at work or with mates or with family,  even with ‘fellow’ vegetarians.

For us,  for me at least,  the rarity of bumping into a simpatico person makes me feel very alone.  But living here in a big city,  at least I know I can be with another (preferably likeable) vegan.  It’s much harder for those living in small rural communities.  The social isolation of being vegan can lead me to get very negative in my thinking, about omnivores in general.  I notice that I can dislike their attitude to animal-use and go on from there to value-judge them.  I’m often tempted to get into a quarrel,  even sacrifice a friendship,  to gratify my urge to hit out when I’m riled, just to ease my own inner tension.

The truth is that I find myself disliking omnivores for what they do,  not just because they eat animals but because they don’t care that they do.  But that’s as much my problem for judging them as it is theirs for being the way they are.  So here I am,  keyed up,  trying not to be too obsessed or judgemental … but I’m aware that I still can’t move forward;  it feels like driving through sludge with the hand brake on.

As a vegan I know I play a difficult game,  especially when I want approval.  And yet,  for all that,  my gut-drive is towards actively advocating for the animals.  My first priority is to support them and argue with anyone who dares to talk with me about it for the case of liberating them.

When I do get it right,  communication-wise,  when I think I’ve got my message across and people seem to agree with me,  it feels great. It works best when there’s agreement without there being any bad feelings.  But often,  I discover I haven’t really succeeded,  because nothing actually happens.  Perhaps I was less trying to pass on useful information and more trying to win a convert. So,  I fail,  and why?  Because it didn’t happen,  they didn’t follow through.  They agreed,  they even had good intentions,  but the practical reality trumped all of that.  It’s a curious phenomenon that people do intend to do things but once started,  the inspiration fades too quickly.  It isn’t kept up.

If you feel moved, inspired, outraged,  and then say to yourself that you’re going to DO something,  but end up not doing it,  what happens?  It’s like breaking a promise to yourself.  You begin to doubt any future good intentions that there might be. 

Someone intending to ‘go vegan’ thinks to themself,  “I was so passionate about it one day,  but cool about it the next”.

When it comes to such a fundamental thing as food and meals and diet and eating habits,  we are all so set in our ways.  One of the things we most associate with,  being a grown up,  is that we have the right to eat what we like and spend our money as we please. Each free-willed individual upholds their right to live as they like.  So vegans,  in terms of just food,  face a mass unwillingness because what we’re suggesting is so contrary to habit - the problem being the non-vegan’s stubbornness to give up some of their comforts.  They’ll resist anything uncomfortable.  ‘Going vegan’ seems,  to the outsider,  a very uncomfortable prospect.  You have to start out by having passion for it. Therefore, it has to be strong enough to carry you safely across old, die-hard habits.