Give 'em an inch

172:

Talking about goodness is dangerous. People think we’ve got tickets on ourselves ... and none uglier than do-gooders. ‘Being vegan’ might seem like self punishment ... in order to appear good - so for my part I have to be careful not to let my animal-liberation focus veer towards my own wonderfulness, in case people think I’m ‘in it’ for the wrong reasons.
I remember a famous actor coming to a rehabilitation unit for wayward teenagers, to present them, on behalf of the Actor’s Union, with a new mini-bus. His smile was as warm as toast – but he was passed off by one of the kids as “fake as a Chiko Roll”.
If Animal Rights advocates want to promote a high ideal, as high as vegan principle, we have to earn respect... so, no boasting or appearing fake, particularly acting out the High and Mighty criticising ‘The Unprincipled’.
Instead of giving people guilt trips I prefer to keep whatever’s going on, in my mind, to myself. I try not to show my hand like that; just stick to business; just mention essentials without embellishment. When people are at the introduction-stage (and let’s face it, most people know very little about ‘food’ animals) they’re shy to admit how little they know. At this stage I don’t want to convert or educate but just talk ... without spooking them. Then, who knows, I might get a better reception?
If I can give you something ... something to hang on to ... a non-judgement for a start ... then you’ll see that I accept where you’re at. It’s possible you could be moving towards something better ... towards consideration, even to considering what I’m saying (about animal-use). If people can feel us trying to consider their feelings, they won’t mind what we have to say. So, mainly I want to give off an ‘I’m-on-your-side’ sort of feeling, and make a ‘benefit-of-the-doubt’ non-judgement of you. My interest isn’t about what people are doing now but what they could be doing later ... their potential. I want to believe that you are starting to consider certain things which you didn’t consider before.
This looks like a mild approach perhaps, but by addressing each other this way, there’s better mutual reception and a more honest reciprocation ... each listening, each giving the other the benefit of the doubt ... and on that mutual-regard footing each person feels freer to speak their mind and consider what each is suggesting.
On the other hand, if I seem unfriendly or fake in any way, it’s guaranteed my mission to get you chatting will fail. People want the easier way out - to NOT rebel, to NOT think and particularly NOT to talk about it. If I can’t jolly you along towards a mere chat, I fail.
But this ‘chatting’ - am I not just trying to get into your mind? ... while most people want to inch into this subject, at their rate not at mine. So, I’m carful not to throw people into the deep end, but instead let them keep control of their ‘squeamish’ button ... and yet, without making them feel uncompassionate.
If I seem unfriendly you’ll see a people-hating vegan before you. You’ll see someone loyal to animals, who hates those who directly or indirectly hurt animals. Then you’ll see someone so dazzled by their own righteousness that they can’t see other people’s wonderfulness. And as a righteous-hater of the harmers and eaters, all, I hand you on a plate the best opportunity for you to rubbish me and rubbish my arguments.
Whereas, if you like me, you’ll be more inclined ... etc