Monday, July 14, 2014

Thanks for the Abattoirs

1108: 
Edited by CJ Tointon

 [This is a copy of a letter that Doris Hardman sent to Transnational Processors. It was addressed to the Chairman, Mr. Allheart]
                                                                                                       As the managing director of Transnational Processors, Mr. Allheart, you have always observed the highest standards of animal processing. We have a lot to be grateful to you for.

Some of the most beautiful foods and fabrics come from your abattoirs and I know that plant workers don’t always have an easy job - or a clean one.  But you’ve always held that hygiene is paramount.  You bring grubby-looking animals in at one end and turn out quality ‘food’ at the other.  Now that’s what I call provisioning!

Mr. Allheart, I think you deserve an award!  You manage the production end so well and produce many wonderful goods which suit my lifestyle perfectly.

My life would be empty without you.  For a start, it would be empty to the tune of one dog!  My dog.  He doesn’t like vegetables, but he loves your minced lamb.  He won’t eat anything else.  And Puss is crazy for your fish. They’re spoilt, the pair of them, but we love them and try to give them the very best.

I heard the other day that you might have to close-down because of the trouble terrorists and animal activists are causing.  We shall miss you. The thought occurred to me that my life without you would be unimaginable!  There’d be no decent shoes to wear, no Christmas turkey and only ice cream made from beans!  There’d be no ham for sandwiches, no eggs for breakfast and no beluga for my daughter’s wedding next week!

Speaking of weddings, I’m stocked up. The fridge is bursting. We’re preparing The Trough, so to speak.

If it wasn’t for you, Mr. Allheart, we’d miss out on a lot of the good things of life, things which make life worth living.  For a start, without you there’d be no Dairy.  Those delicious, milky-rich, yummy things; all-tempting but not costing the Earth. You are one heck of a producer!  Just having so much milk on hand makes a lot of difference.  It can be put into almost anything and it’s available everywhere.  I must say I’m glad you’re not wasting it by giving it to the calves.  There, I’ve said it!!  The dear calves.  Admittedly, they’ve played their part and I’m pleased about that.  So, thank you for all the milk.  I love milk, Mr. Allheart.

If we are all grateful to you, then the animals probably are too.  They’re grateful to us all.   Grateful and proud to be a part of our lives.

On some level, I’m sure the animals realise that they give themselves completely to us for our use.  I'm sure they’re glad to.  One can imagine the calf accepting its love for us as stoically ‘seeing-it-through’ - through to term - and jigging up Mum's milk supply (lactation-wise) in the process.  Even these little calves are willing to give up their Mother’s milk so we can use it. That is their service to us and if good milk is the result,  it can’t be all bad, can it?  Because there must always be plenty of milk available, for all sorts of reasons, but especially for my ice cream.  I love ice cream, I mean, real ice cream!

It’s because you run such an efficient breeding scheme that we have so many animals to choose from.  It’s always a wonder to me that there is such diversity in what you make from raw materials - transmute is the word I think - all turned into such useful items and enjoyable elements of excellent nutrition!  Whether it’s sweet or savoury, so much of our food is produced by you, for us all to enjoy.  Apart from those steaks of delicious mammalian muscle tissue, there’s an ocean of seafoods, and what do you always say? - “There’s plenty of fish in the sea”.

For the wedding, I’m doing paella, one of my favourite seafood savouries.  And for appetizers, I’m hoping for Plenty Beluga!!

You know, I have a little theory of my own here, that the animals want to feel part of our celebrations.  I think they enjoy saying  “Yes” to the idea of serving us and being part of our lifestyle - and our meals.  It’s all about them coming closer to us.  We honour them/ they honour us.  Using their bits and pieces (like secretions, skins, hair) is all grist to the mill for them.  If we can use them, then we should. They’re proud to be useful and I’m sure, in their generosity, they’d never begrudge us our shoes and blankets.  They’d want to see us well shod and warmly rugged up.

Yes - We have a lot to be grateful for.  Most particularly your leadership, Mr. Allheart.  It does you credit that you don’t push yourself forward.

I would say this to you: Don’t skulk on the outskirts of our towns as if you’ve got something to hide.  Come amongst us.  Bring your ‘temples’ and ‘altars’ closer in.  You have nothing to be ashamed of after all.  You only do what we bid you provide for us.  Imagine how hungry the world would be if we didn’t have someone like you, turning chickens, cows, pigs, lambs and fish into food?

Perhaps in a perfect world they’d be allowed a sort of Union of their own for complaints, if they had any.  They’d probably have a little moan about it all being a bit one-sided, being of more benefit to humans than animals - but that’s it!  So with nothing much to whinge about, I guarantee those cows grazing in the paddock down the road are quite happy.  More particularly, they’re proud to be there, here with us, bred and reared with a sense of purpose and destiny.  AND I might add (on behalf of the Downtrodden-Man-on-the-Land) it’s always been on the house, free board and lodging -  for life.  All at the farmer’s expense!

I know animals, and I know they always want to give back.  It’s in their giving nature. They want to give in the only way they can.  They give their lives!  They know their lives are not wasted, and I can almost hear young and old saying, “Thank you Mr. Allheart”  and “Thank you to everyone who cared for us when we were with you”.  From the same generous nature they’ll add,  “Thank you for making the best use of ALL of us”.

The animals, by following your example Mr. Allheart, in turn love us.  We sense they care for us in their own way providing means whereby we, their humans, need never go hungry or cold.

I’m encouraging my children to write to you to say how much they appreciate what you do for us. I’m speaking on behalf of others when I say how much we all appreciate the wonderful things you give us and, in a funny sort of way, you have become my church!   One day I hope all the church-doors of your bio-secure operations will be open for all to see and via the videocam make it all visible. Imagine: streaming live pictures of dear animals frolicking and playing in the farmyards throughout this country!  And these happy scenes, viewed by all, will prove wrong all those jabbering Animal People going on about cruelty on farms.  All charges scotched!  You can imagine, Mr. Allheart, what a kick in the teeth this would be for the ‘farm-terrorists’.  Hopefully they’ll get long prison stretches and have to find somewhere else to spit their poison.

Just think - Any time, Any day, Anywhere - Streaming Live - Worldwide accountability for you. The in-house pictures will prove there’s nothing to get upset about.  I can imagine Open Days on the farms with everyone dressed in their bio-secure disposables, walking amongst the animals.  By being one-on-one with them we show faith with the farmer.  On those same farms there will be rooms set-aside for reflection, for giving thanks to the Transnational Processing staff for their work and their loyalty to you, Mr. Allheart.  In my own contemplations, I imagine myself whispering to you, “Thank You Mr. Allheart” for what is nothing short of a miracle, a transubstantiative turning of raw materials into the glory of kitchen cuisine.  This is your gift to us, it’s your Art, Mr. Allheart.

As a Memorial to you, my future hope is that my daughter and her husband raise young ones to attend your apprenticeship programmes in Animal Processing.  It’s a solid job for them and they’d be doing something important for their country, like joining the army or the priesthood.  As committed workers in the Industry, they would also be our ears and eyes and a voice for the future.

Where there were once meat-works and slaughterhouses, there could be Temples in praise of Your service to us.

For my grandchildren to have the opportunity to be in your service is the noblest vocation I think they could aspire to.  If, as we hear, you are about to be closed-down, you must know my dream.  That in time, Your ranks will swell again. Your day will come again and love of You will return with the respect and trust You deserve.


Know this from me, Mr. Allheart - We ’d be nowhere without You!

No comments: