Back on judgement again

601:

Value judgements - we make them frequently. As vegans we feel justified in making them, but we’re not as brave as our beliefs make us feel: we slander the omnivores (not often to their face), we rubbish politicians (when we gossip with friends) and we argue the issues vigorously (if only in our own heads or with fellow vegans) – we do it where it’s safe. If we want to be critical, be open to scrutiny, do it in public. It’s good for us. We have to be prepared to back up what we say and take any amount of flak. We need to answer questions. If we have to judge people then let’s do it courageously.

            We, as vegans, have a lot to say. If we can’t be vigorous and yet gentle at the same time, if we can’t resist having a cutting edge or showing our nasty side, then it’s best to keep quiet.

            You get the “Judge not, lest ye be judged also” from the old books. Perhaps it’s true. We dish it but don’t like taking it. We all fear being judged by someone else. It’s  the worst feeling, being disapproved of, especially if you’re being unfairly judged. Judgements are like minefields full of explosive traps for us.

            The safest judgement-target is a person who can’t fight back. The easiest target, a whole species who can’t fight back, and you don’t care if they hate you because they can’t tell you. But getting back to humans, it’s the damage we do with our judgements of one another, which account for the anger that leads to such shitty behaviour. Then we can come up with a comfortable judgement: “Humans are wicked, that’s why things are so bad”. Such a judgement is so amorphous that it means nothing and therefore no one gets hurt, but if we get more personal, where the accuser confronts the accused, then it’s explosive. Can we risk it?

            If we start to make judgements they leave behind so much destruction that, forever after, we’re looking over our shoulder for the consequences. Value judging is a black hole, an energy drain. It seems to solve something at the time, bit it’s like a plate of hot chips, satisfying, filling, but they dry you out. I’ve noticed that when I get riled up by something, I have a strong wish to blame someone. To judge. And if I do, then I get a reputation for it. I’m well known for saying the same things over and over again, hence the less people listen to me. And the more often I fail to communicate, the more often I look defeated.

            If you’re a doubter, if you lack faith in the way things will turn out it’s likely you’re a blamer. It’s not that vegans are doubting the position they take, but generally we doubt our ability to communicate that position, perhaps what we’re really after is the support from another person.

            You know what it’s like? You come away from an exchange with someone, feeling drained and annoyed. It looks like a battle fought and lost. Apart from all the bad feelings left behind, it saps everyone’s energy.

            The alternative to judgement is unselfconsciousness. Skipping on and off judgements as it they were ice about to melt. Yes judgements are helpful, they help support our own values, but they must melt as soon as they form.