Article 8. Our Words can be a Turn-off

On what basis do we assess what is important and what is not? One person eats meat and thinks nothing of it. Another would sooner die than touch the stuff. We’re aware of these two extremes of view. We more or less know the reasoning behind each. So, do we consider morals or economics or our own image? Do we take our feelings into account? It’s no good giving up eating meat if we hate the idea of being vegetarian. We have to feel good about our choices, otherwise they won’t work. However the problem won’t vanish just because we want it to.
We have favourite problems that we enjoy trying to solve - like looking for healthier foods, making more money or deciding what to wear. But we also have other problems that we’re forced to face, which are hard to solve and which we’d love to be rid of. The cruel, nasty business of what they do to animals on factory farms, to produce the foods we like to eat, can make us feel uncomfortable. But usually we put this sort of problem into the too hard basket and as time passes, we convince ourselves that it’s an "unimportant matter". We usually have the support of our omnivore friends. Eventually we don’t give it a second thought. We try to forget for the sake of our own ‘peace of mind’. Yet it’s not that easy if we have a sensitive conscience or an inquisitive mind.
Perhaps we begin to listen to ideas that might deal with our most pressing problems. If the problem concerns our long term welfare or the welfare of animals we may consider the idea of veganism. This idea is pretty neat in that it addresses ‘cruelty to animals’ as well as improved nutrition, so we can see that this particular ‘good idea’ allows the vegan to lead a much more ethical and healthy life. But for those who can’t come at it, this very same ‘good idea’ scares them. They might prefer to just live with the problem. Veganism may seem like too high a price to pay for peace of mind and a vegan solution might be off limits for most people. They won’t consider it and therefore won’t discuss it.
So when is a good idea not a good idea? Perhaps when people refuse to take it seriously? It’s usually because this refusal-to-consider seems so illogical to vegans that we try to over-sell our ‘animal-free’ ideas. When we try to talk it up, we really only talk it down. It’s very controversial and, for some, so cut and dried that it’s a closed subject. Just this one idea causes such different and extremely opposite reactions in people, that the last thing meat-eaters want to do is discuss it. While, of course, vegans very much want to discuss it. Given half a chance, vegans will do anything they can to help install that idea into someone’s life. Trouble is, our enthusiasm makes non-vegans go into reverse. A good idea is not good if you don’t want to hear about it. So how do we turn this around?
Vegans believe that a vegan diet is good for health and good for clearing the conscience. We have weighed it, tried it and become convinced by it. It’s like when you first learn to ride a bike - once you can do it you want others to come along for a ride with you and you can’t understand why they’re so afraid of falling off their bikes. They don’t believe in their innate sense of balance, they aren’t as "passionate", they don’t try as hard. We try to win others over with our "vegan ideas", but we often meet with resistance even with people we think we know. "Veganism" (in its ethical sense) seems to be the one subject that can turn our "friends" "unfriendly".
Everything that might have seemed clear about the idea is, in reality, not clear at all. It isn’t just about diet, health, leading a cruelty-free life or avoiding unethical products, it’s also about proselytising the whole thing. When we try to force people to change (for their own good but against their own will) it’s likely that most people will dislike the feel of our persuasions rather than the idea we are promoting. Whilst, for our part, we’re likely to be convinced of the need to use force to push them past their own inertia.
Maybe we should merely suggest. Like any truly successful salesperson, we should never try to sell, only help customers make decisions for themselves. If vegans choose to talk the subject up, inducing guilt and fear, we won’t succeed in instilling new attitudes. If the sales pitch is aggressive or has a heavy moral overtone, we can be sure our ‘customer’ will feel as if he/she is being railroaded.
In the way we come across we’ll be seen by others either as someone to be close to or to be avoided. When people clash with us it’s usually because of the feelings that accompany our arguments, as if we are loaded with disapproving value-judgement. As soon as anyone feels their values are being judged, there’s trouble. So we need to unravel a lot of attitude before we can start to talk productively about this subject of ‘using animals’.
These days in conversation, I can speak up about what I believe in. But just because I think I am right doesn’t necessarily bestow any magical power on my arguments. As soon as I attempt to persuade people, I find they’re not putty in my hands after all. They can’t be moulded to my will. And just because I’m vegan doesn’t make everything I say respectable. Therefore by being fearless with my words I won’t necessarily impress. More likely I will be simply irritating. If I’m too outspoken, I’ll either be ignored or have what I’m saying denied, if only to save face. If I mean to make people feel ashamed, that will lodge in their memory. It will act as a warning for them that I am prone to moral lecturing. I’ll be resented for trying to make them feel ashamed.
To add to their own justification, they’ll not only see me as preaching but of boasting about my own achievements. Unless handled carefully, "animal talk" can be unnecessarily dangerous and do harm to people’s acceptance of the subject.