Judgement-free

The worst thing about judging and disapproving is how much we unwittingly show of it. Even when we don’t think it’s possible, others can tell what we’re thinking. Even private thoughts can be sensed somehow. A twitch of the mouth, a sigh or a snigger gives the game away … we’re read like a book, allowing our opposite number to take advantage of that. We think we’re concealing our private value judgements, believing we’re more inscrutable than we really are. We don’t take account of the fact that most people are hypersensitive to even a hint of personal criticism. That’s why criticising rarely works out the way we hope it will.
We all get involved with this game of judging or being judged. As Animal Rights advocates, vegans judge ‘meatheads’. As free-agents, omnivores judge the judgers (vegans) … and so it goes on. But because we ‘plant-eaters’ are in such a tiny minority we don’t have a sense of authority. We easily lose self-confidence. We often use aggression to bolster our confidenceor make us seem more confident than we are. It’s easy for ‘them’, their confidence rides on the wave of ‘the vast majority’. For the minority to attempt to persuade the majority out of their confidence is as hard as pushing over a brick wall. The only way to win authority is to keep our persuasions judgement free.