When eyes glaze over

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When I start talking about animals I’m familiar with ‘that look’, when their eyes glaze over, as if to say, “we don’t have to listen to this crap”. The situation where I’m socialising, eating, perhaps offered some food, and the time has come for me to say what I have to say - is this the best time to bring up the subject? There’s no right or wrong answer to this, which is why the approach is so very tricky.
As I edge around to it, often not too subtly, I might say something like, “…But should we be eating animals?” Here I am, about to launch into my spiel and it’s strange how the door isn’t quite shut in my face, because people are often wanting to ‘bring it on’, they’re fascinated to hear what my next line of crap will be, to see if they can match it. Also, they’re trawling for material; they’re interested that what I say might be good for recycling, as a story with mates over a round of drinks: “this ‘vaygn’ came to dinner the other night and do you know what he said? ...”. It’s a story that can be exaggerated for effect (no one being actually interested to hear the serious reason why this screwball is speaking up about eating animal foods).
So if I don’t want to be ignored or be the butt of jokes perhaps I have to take the initiative, get the joke warmed up by being cheeky, light hearted and disparaging of the food ... but never the people themselves. My most effective reaction, when offered something ‘animal’, is a downturned mouth and “I don’t think so”, as if they’ve made a bit of a social blunder, or to mention, “it’s dead animal isn’t it?” ... but with just enough tone in the voice to keep it humorous. I’m not out to start a quarrel just being a little provocative and pre-emptive.
Each situation is different, each is judged as to how far I reckon I can go and still get away with it. I like to be pro-active, never offended ... and always a bit edgy. I like to test the waters to see if I can get a bit of spirited repartee going with people, leaving them with enough room so they can bite back. That’s healthy. And then I’ll have no trouble using their comments as a springboard for one of my favourite nuggets of information.
If I’m given the bum’s rush I know at least I’ve tried to test the waters and done it as well as possible and, for chrissakes, with some HUMOUR.
In reality though, seriously, I have to come to terms with the emotional impact of being rejected. For me, of course, rejection is infuriating. Sometimes all I can see in front of me is a blank look, a resistance, even a maddening smirk. And when there’s no chance to make humour and it’s all deadly serious I get prepared for what happens next. Eyes don’t glaze over they stare blindly. I know I’m having zero impact on people. I can see they’re simply tuning out. And they have every right to slam the door in my face if I’m trying to invade their privacy. If I become exasperated and try to barge past their defences, dig right into their guilts and fears, surely I’ll fail to bring them around. And perhaps lose them entirely.
That’s the trouble with the health-talk approach, the fear-of-personal-illness approach (which often alienates people from taking us seriously and from respecting vegan principle or the principles behind animal liberation) because we’re selling our philosophy short. Here I am, trying to change people’s attitudes by making them feel guilty or afraid, and of course I succeed only in making them run away. I don’t believe this is a tactic that can work unless we’re only trying to flog the health angle.
Today many young people still have the health of youth and aren’t yet so consumed with guilt about animals. They identify with their peers, and especially those with attractive personalities. Wowsers, including vegans, may not be seen to be cool, especially so if the animal activist is in a bad temper ... which is why I don’t want to be seen as frustrated, assertive or preaching gloom. I don’t want to give anyone a chance to avoid me. Then, if I can get up close, drop in a well placed comment, whether there’s flak or no flak, there’s a chance I can say what I want to say and hopefully it sinks in.
However, amongst any group of people, anywhere, any age, meat eating is pretty much the norm. Almost every person who uses animal food is able to switch off their sense of compassion when dinner’s on the table. Animal Rights is tabooed because it deals with ethics and values and self-disciplines … and free-willed people don’t take to discussing this and don’t like being told what to eat. So, although when food’s about it may seem like a good opportunity to make comments it’s also the time when our comments will be most resented.