Brave

To stand up for animals you have to be vegan, and to be vegan you have to be brave. Not grim, bitter or angry, just quietly brave. No tickets on yourself, no sense of being better than anyone else, just calmly brave, but it’s not for the faint hearted.
Often vegans have to say “no”. No to animal slavery, no I won’t go with you to the zoo, no to a simple ice cream on a hot day. To us it’s plain straightforward why we say no, to others it’s not wanting to join in, a stand offishness. It’s like shooting yourself in the foot socially, and soon enough we get a reputation. We get invited round to dinner and knowing the problems it will cause we say “No”.
People don’t always mean what they say, when they say they admire what we stand for. “Well done”, “I wish I could do it myself”, but beneath the praise an alarm bell rings – “Avoid this one, he/she’s a tree-hugger (or whatever name they give us) … after a while the dinner invitations dry up. Why would anyone want a vegan to come round for dinner, the problems of cooking special dishes but worse, the danger of them embarrassing everyone else by trying to discuss the principles behind a plant-based diet.
So yes, brave. But it isn’t masochism. That’s the point here, why we say “no’ when we’d like to say “yes”, knowing that if we agree to go along with the carnivores it will confirm that they are right and we are ornory. You can’t put a positive spin on that.
By standing up for animals we must go it alone, we can’t expect cows and chickens to encourage us. It must all come from within ourselves. We have to be able to withstand people’s lack of sympathy but also the market’s lack of suitable replacement products. Food and clothing depend so heavily on the animal industries that alternatives often don’t exist. So vegans have to search for their products and often have to pay more for them because there is such a small market demand for them,
On top of all this, vegans need to support the efforts of other vegans who are trying to raise public awareness. And that’s a problem. The pressures of society are so great that just to be vegan is hard enough without other vegans needing support. Those who have got on top of their diets and clothing, who have learnt ways to withstand the heavy pressure from society to conform have usually begun to persuade and encourage the non-vegans to consider making the break with conventional habits, but they themselves need help. The sort of help that can only come from fellow vegans.
This is why veganism has got to embrace a few disciplines and values that will get things moving. There is little discussion here in Australia about moving away from animal use. Animal activism is generally concentrated on the worst abuses of animals on factory farms and in vivisection laboratories. It doesn’t address the wider problem of fundamental attitude change. And yet if this were established, if it became the fashion to boycott anything coming out of the animal industries, we’d see everything else follow; with veganism established the markets would accommodate the demand, the abattoirs would close and the animals farms would go bust, the animal labs would be defunded and the zoos would be shut down. But at present we have a very piecemeal approach to the problems. There are still too few people willing to rally to the call for a thorough uprooting of animal exploitation. And so everything is weakened because of this.

Vegans have the bottle

When vegans are the butt of a carnivore’s joke our response shouldn’t be to make them more frightened than they were when they considered making ‘a joke of it’. The aim of a sharp edged joke is to attract attention. If the joke calls for a response and none comes, then what? If we withdraw does that necessarily mean we can’t come up with a sharp enough retort? For vegans it’s all a bit ho-hum. It’s this sort of ‘joke’ that always sparks a bun fight. It’s the sort of debate you have when you’re not having a debate. It’s a simple heated exchange.
These are still early days for Animal Rights. We’re building foundations and encouraging new attitudes towards animals. We’re outlining law reform that will illegalise abattoirs. There’s so much call on our energy that we can’t afford to waste it on local skirmishing. Maybe “the lamb” jibe needs to be let through, if only because jokers and ‘people with vested interests’ are still in the ascendancy, and they’re busting to put us down if they get the chance. And that’s the trap. We don’t need to be provoked and then appear as the snarling activist. Discretion might be the better part of ‘going in boots and all’. Discretion lets us withdraw instead of fight.
Our compassion for animals is right, of course it is, because it’s the logical outcome to the anti-slavery movement. It feels right.
Just like veganism and eating brown rice and having a sense of humour, it’s the healthiest and most logical way to be. It’s the most viable position. It can withstand a withdrawal. It can handle a heckle or two. It’s ridiculous to wage war over a puff of smoke. We don’t need to take on every red neck we meet, or parry every joke or even be intimidated by what the political corporations have to say. We don’t have to be afraid of any of them because we must never forget one thing - none of them have “the bottle” to take us on in serious debate.
The world’s at a funny stage at the moment. Too many questions still haven’t been asked. For instance, how is it that some of us are passionate advocates for animals and others are indifferent? How is it that vegans are enlightened and meatheads are so backward? The fact is the differences aren’t really that clear yet. Vegans are probably not that much brighter or kinder or healthier but we do have more self discipline because we do so much boycotting. We’re more used to questioning and arguing our case and that makes us stronger in our views and a little frightening to our opponents. It’s their fears we have to try to allay.

Table attack

Vegans are used to people trying to have a go at them. Usually it’s a very half-hearted attempt to make our “over sensitivity towards animals” look foolish. In company an insulting comment levelled at a vegan is often enjoyed by everyone, confirming their image of the vegan stereotype. To deny them their enjoyment means we have to tweak our image a bit. We shouldn’t let ourselves be provoked. We don’t need to show outrage, and we do need to be sure of our arguments. We must be able to ride out these minor annoyances and allow ourselves to be open to cross examination without losing our cool.
Meat eaters, from their safe majority position, always like to put down the righteous vegan. They want to show how easy it is to make us angry. Actually it isn’t a sadistic thing they do, it’s just self defence. They want an excuse NOT to have to listen to what they don’t want to hear. Our anger at them gives them the excuse to shut the door in our face. We’re fair game for attack because we dare to question their most private lifestyle habits. Most carnivores don’t care about animal suffering and don’t want to talk about it. Others want to take us on. So, as vegans, we need to be ready for ‘the dinner table attack’ and use the occasion to show how we can handle anything they say.

Getting caught up in arguments

When we meet an adversary and discuss our opposite views concerning the eating of animals, we are at a disadvantage because we hold such a minority view. It’s almost impossible to win our argument if our opponents feel supported by the dominant culture and feel the need to establish their position.
For those of us not blessed with brilliant wit, if we try making hasty responses we usually blow it. We see an attack coming out of left-field, it’s distinctly personal in tone and seems like a challenge. In other words, there’s no indication that a fair-minded debate is about to start, quite the opposite in fact. A simple comment couched as a joke shows a clear intention to be humorous. And since the whole point of a joke is to be in and out in a flash, there’s no prospect of a detailed discussion starting up.
This comment, fired off at ‘joke’ level, is sharp and not to be shrugged off. But it’s difficult to respond without giving an aggressive reply … and in that split second, as we bite back, we know we’ve been trapped. We’ve been manipulated – it was really our aggressive response that was meant to be the coup de grace of the ‘joke’. That’s what ‘turns’ the atmosphere. It’s us (vegans) who are made to look bad, as if we took things further than necessary. It’s they (the joking carnivore) who are outraged at the thought that their comments could be taken so personally. “It was meant as a joke”. “You’ve no sense of humour”.
By taking umbrage, by turning a bit of light hearted banter into something offensive, we show how ready we are to quarrel over this issue. It’s proof (to carnivores) that we’re not really compassionate people, nor socially cool, nor as non-violent as we say we are. We look like losers, who seem to have gentle views about animals but not about people. They win!!

Defending our position

This friend who is eating lamb is also wanting to justify it and put down anyone who disagrees with her right to eat what she wants.
“Skirmishing over the Lamb” - good title for a book? This whole subject, jokes included, evokes anger, frustration, a need to put-down-the-righteous (as happened to me over tea!) and a great reluctance to shift one’s view. Try convincing a vegan to take up meat again and, when they stop laughing, they’d simply say “NO WAY”. It’s easier to convince a carnivore to move on, but it’s nearly as laughable, especially with the older ones. They’re usually set in their ways. At some point in their lives this whole matter has been settled (about eating animals and they have promised themselves, family, friends and colleagues that it won’t be talked about, thought about or acted upon. That position is held firm by frequently making tasteless jokes about it, to show their contempt. The position gets stronger as one gets older – there’s more to lose if we change sides. But the greater problem is in losing friends over these ‘issues’. What happens when a friend puts up some opposition? For instance, during a conversation an animal issue arises and people take sides – they take their positions. Do we stay out of it or do we wade in? If we’re put on the spot, do we say what we want to say; and if we do, are we sure we can control our language? What happens if our words don’t flow smoothly? It makes us look foolish, as though we haven’t thought things through. This powerful change we’ve made in our own life now has to be defended. Can we put our defence into powerful enough words?
These situations can happen suddenly. We respond by defending both ourselves and the issue at hand. If that feels uncomfortable, we might be tempted to bite back. And then there’s no end to it. I decided this was one of those times for withdrawing.

Committed to making a stand

My friend tells me ‘jokingly’ how she enjoys eating lamb.
As the joke goes along it gains momentum, volley by volley. Hers is the first comment, mine comes next and it goes on until someone “wins”. “The lamb” is pitched as a joke but really it’s a challenge, a jibe, a quick in-and-out. To any long-time vegan, this sort of sniper attack is tediously familiar, but strangely, predictably, we vegans always rise to the bait. Meat eaters probably enjoy the outrage on our faces and even enjoy watching us trying to take control of our reply.
This sort of joke is a winner because meat eaters can be sure that a vegan’s sniffiness (about animals-being-eaten) will be aroused just by mentioning “the lamb”. It could be any animal of course, but we use the same word –lamb - for the animal as well as the cut of meat, so this word (this animal) is sure to trigger reactions. By admitting to eating a young sheep, a meat eater ill certainly provoke outrage in a vegan.
My friend’s daughter, having known me for the past thirty five years, knows I always defend the rights of animals. The way I do that, depends upon to whom I’m talking. Sometimes I’ll withdraw. That’s why I’m writing this down, not just for my own sake, but for the interest of both sides of the debate. If we all have anything in common, it’s our interest in the present and in predicting the future. Most everyone these days is aware of headline issues. There’s a tipping point with every one of them, and particularly the eating of animals. Once we tip one way or the other, we seem to be committed to a certain stand. It’s noticeable that even though carnivores are less adventurous, their stand on eating meat makes them feel cocky because of their “safety-in-numbers”. They love to win an argument with people like vegans.
They usually initiate a joke to wind us up. It’s a show-off position and they intend to win. But more importantly it’s grist to the mill. By having a real “head-on”, we give ourselves something to talk about with friends later. These carnivores, what bastards they are … but vegans do exactly the same, making fun of meat eaters amongst ourselves. We don’t like to let our side down.

The cuisine excuse

My friend who likes to eat lamb and advertises the fact, she represents the meat-eater interest.
I’ve known her since she was a child and have followed her views for over 30 years. From the beginning she was sensitive to animals and familiar with vegetarianism. In later years she became interested in cuisine and now she’s making a stand for eating meat, hence her mischievous joke about “having the lamb”. Knowing me and knowing my stand, was she meaning to be unfriendly? She was obviously making a point about the eating of animals. Her having the lamb was a throw-away line but meant to attract attention. It rather changed the mood of our little tea party. Whatever could I say in reply that wouldn’t land us in hot water? I’m always up for discussing these things but I don’t quarrel to win my point. Some like a good slanging match. Maybe she wanted one. I don’t know her well enough, these days, to be sure of her affection. She’s intelligent and sensitive and doesn’t like letting things go.
As vegans, we’re not only up against lazy no-brainers, but also bright people who put up opposition. By deliberately provoking me, by rubbing it in about having “the lamb”, she knew it would get under my skin. Here I was having a cup of tea with my friend and suddenly ‘BANG’, out of nowhere things turn “heavy”. (My elderly friend, incidentally, was unaware of this conversation as she has a profound hearing disability). The three of us talked about the birthday dinner, the restaurant and the enjoyable evening had by all, then we get onto what each person ate … and then we came to “the lamb”.
I think she meant to tell a joke, at this precise moment, but this sort of joke, like most jokes, is at someone else’s expense. I suppose it was aimed at me, at how foolish I am to take these things so seriously. For her it’s almost mandatory that a joke is made, to counteract my stand on Animal Rights. For her perhaps it’s important that whenever ‘animal-eating’ comes up in a conversation, it needs to be joked about. It shows people like me how unattractive and un-cool it is, to get sniffy about cuisine.