Altruism as a reference point

93: 

I think I live in a partially unknowable universe. I have to make the best of things. I’d be better off doing things with affection, to lubricate what might otherwise be a painful business. Relating.

          My instinct advises affection, not in the ‘doing good’ way only but in optimising for myself too. If I’m faced with a choice, do I go in selfish (which might come naturally) or selfless (which might also come naturally). It’s natural to be affectionate, as you might be in-thought. When thinking about others first, for instance doing something for the sake of the kids. It’s natural to be altruistic. And altruistic isn’t a one-way road, supposedly feeding back again to ourselves; but in maturity I know it might not feed back straight away. Isn’t this acquaintance (with the trickiness of altruism) at the heart of self-development? It’s consciousness-shifting is about maturing yet grappling with the non-obviousnessness of altruism.

          But however complicated it might be, the simple face is always there; and very handy for parenting, I imagine. A child screams for attention and the parent comes to the rescue. Altruism kicks in. You think, “what’s best?”. What’s best ... best for the child and best for my sanity. Altruism is probably a central reference point here, when making choices about kids - the question being whether to go in hard or soft; indulge the child or deny the child.

          I think it’s the same protective, warm-wrappy-round-cosy-sort-of feeling we have when you hug me. It’s natural to be like that around kids, so why not natural to be like that with bugs. Do species differences mean what we do to them doesn’t matter? That bugs don’t feel? And by extension neither do mammals, much? Bugs, unlike children, have not-identifiable-with-faces, ugly faces. Non-humans can’t smile back.

          So, for example, I’m about to do the washing up. Psyched up and ready to do battle with plates and dishes. First-feeling I have, it’s “luxury-luxury, hot water in the taps”, and “I’ll knock this off in no time”. And then ...

          Then I find an ant in the sink. Instinctively my light flashes up “choice”. What choice? Annoyance-flushes, angry-at-ants-flushes. Unexpected flushes. I’m forced to face a decision. My hand is ready on the tap.

          But altruism is never very far away when it comes to nudging decisions. Advice is always the same -avoid unnecessary-harm-intervention. I grab paper, ant crawls onto paper, pare shaken out of the door, fifteen seconds out of my life. The ant is saved. So if we turn this around, to apply it to philosophy, then I think we have this: non-violence drives, energises and generally inspires altruism. In return, altruism feeds back endless non-violent solutions to problems.