15.
When I considered
becoming an animal activist, I soon enough also became a vegan. I knew my goal
was more than just avoiding animal food. There were going to be changes. I’d
have to get used to the unavailability of all sorts of things vegan. I wanted
to tread more lightly, better appreciate things and transform myself from
clod-hopping brute to a more sensitive, gentler adult. I figured I had a simple
choice. I could either grab whatever I craved or I could be more circumspect
and use a bit of self control. I suppose I was aiming at becoming less attached
and learning how to do without. Once I got used to
that, I’d be less tempted to compromise my newly found principles. That led me
to finding that truth isn’t about attempting perfection or seeking
enlightenment or taking a ‘spiritual path in life’. It’s about experimenting
and getting used to change when circumstances demand it, and then becoming at
ease with that need for change. I wanted to know the truth (don’t we all?). I
figured that change kept alive a questioning of those things which others
aren’t bothered enough to question.
For me, then and now, the most bothering thing I can
think of is the thought of routine abuse of sensitive and sentient beings. It’s
simply the best example of social injustice I can imagine! The reason it’s so
bothering is that there are so many
who are so innocent and who are being
so badly abused. I want to understand
why my fellow human beings can be so careless about animals. It’s rather
confusing.
I think I
know how to treat my nearest and dearest ... with love and affection. But why
should I stop there? I have to ask myself if there’s any reason to stop
anywhere - with humans, animals, environment - any of it? Is there anything
that doesn’t deserve affection and guardianship? Of course my first instinct is
to leap to the defence of animals because they so badly need defending. Then I
realize that this is going to involve me in a long ‘to-do’ list. Therein lies
the rub. What precisely is my goal? There’s the sticking point for me and
perhaps for any animal advocate. I realised I was setting myself up for a fall.
Being perpetually overwhelmed by that long list and never being able to decide
which issue needed most of my attention. This was a list I’d try to shorten, to
keep my goal achievable. I’d try to ration-out my reserves of ‘care’ only to
end up with inconsistency. The Animal Rights Movement implies a high ideal and
many of us become drained by trying to reach it. Facing the issues takes a lot
of energy. For animal activists there’s always a danger of spreading ourselves
too thinly and pleasing nobody, least of all ourselves. There’s the danger of
putting too much onto the ‘back burner’, and then letting these issues become
permanently forgotten about. So while I wanted to be consistent, it was only
when I lined up all my responsibilities that I knew I was not. And it grieved
me when I thought how inconsistent I could be.
But perhaps,
I thought, that was my clue to understanding others’ difficulties, concerning
their use of animals. Understanding others starts with understanding ourselves.
If I wonder why others are inconsistent I only need to look at myself. For
example, when I see the homeless man on the streets at night, I ask myself why
I should care about him. I don’t want to take on another responsibility so I
pretend not to notice him. In the same way, I pretend NOT to notice what I know
I HAVE noticed. It’s the same with the way most people choose NOT to see the
animals behind the food they’re eating. They know that chickens and pigs are
just like dogs and cats, yet they treat one as unlovable and the other as
loveable. The homeless man is just as deserving of love as my closest friend
and yet I’m able to ignore him completely. That’s an absurdity I have to learn
to live with. And in much the same way the collective human race has NOT made
an agreement with itself about regarding all sensitive and sentient creatures
as of equal importance. They favour some with an abundance of kindness and
totally ignore others and support their exploitation.
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