Our friends are not for shocking

511: Because animal exploitation concerns me so deeply, as a vegan, I’ll talk to anyone on this subject; it’s me who wants to get a conversation going so, if I bring up the subject, then, effectively, I’ve upped the ante and I must be responsible for what happens next Living in a free country, I can say what I like, but there are dangers. I can’t always trust myself when it comes to ‘turning nasty under provocation’. When I feel one of my ‘violences’ coming on, I know it’s time to leave, or to change the subject. I feel my ‘almost-violence’ come on when I push my veganism in people’s faces. My ‘passion’, my ‘beliefs’. “I’m vegan you see ...”, and that can easily look like bragging or seem to be deliberately confronting. Being in the company of a vegan shouldn’t be dreaded. But as soon as I start getting passionate about things, it shows in their faces, a fear I might mention ‘that subject’. Being confronted by a zealot, who only wants to tell people what they may or may not eat, is disturbing. But there are practical reasons too why people, like me, shouldn’t confront meat-eating friends without their inferred compliance. If I ever do talk-turkey I’m cautious not to give out too much. I like observing first – see what happens, wait, hold back a bit. I know it might take some time for the penny to drop, to realise what I’m moving towards. Such care? Why? Because as soon as it’s obvious to them what I MIGHT be heading towards, down come the shutters with all the familiar resistance-attitudes. I guess it’s something akin to a primal distaste for the idea of ‘going vegan’, a distaste for the impact it would have on one’s social life, for a start. Communicating with friends on any serious subject has to start somewhere, and for me, I want to start out normally, where I meet, kid around and maybe do or say something just to confirm we’re friends, as opposed to a less intimate acquaintance. Then, if it feels safe, I slip into more ‘serious talk’. Hopefully, you and I will try to keep it ‘together’, for the benefit of our friendship and mutual edification. Isn’t that how things should be all the time, about anything, with anyone? And isn’t that surely why different humans, from different cultures, have largely stopped trying to do – to tear each other’s throats out in war? And are we not now discussing our differences instead? And isn’t that why, today, we’d be better off ‘workshopping’ issues and talking through our differences? Anyone, even the most ardent carnivore, is speakable-with. No one has to be ‘impossible’ to talk to. Even me!