Revenge

482: Revenge is a hard habit to drop. Since getting into Animal Rights and feeling bad about people ignoring what’s happening to animals I’ve felt the need to take my revenge, do anything to make people feel uncomfortable for not feeling the way I do. At the very least I’ve got into the habit of making value judgements about it all. And now I see that as absurd. Quite wrong. So, like an athlete practising daily push-ups, I need to build up my resistance and practise being non-judgemental. In our culture it doesn’t come easily. Confronting people face to face or, when they’re not there, slagging them off is a favourite pastime. My comments can be sharp as a razor. Is it any wonder I’m not invited to dinner parties? Is it any wonder that omnivores dislike me for trying to spoil their dinner? When I start talking about Animal Rights without getting permission, I’m regarded as a gate-crasher, a pariah. When you’re eating your leg of lamb and I criticise your food choice, I’m really calling you a thug. You’re either bad, violent or stupid. Accusations hurt. I always go for the most tender spot, the conscience. I raise the cruelty angle. I probably sound as though I’m taking my revenge. By attacking personal values I get something out of my system ... but I usually get something pretty nasty back in return. And then there’s a quarrel. It’s how wars blow up – my need for revenge against your reaction to an unjust (or far too way out) accusation. Humans dealing with differences this way, the quickest way, violently. What about a better way, a longer way round perhaps? A slower but less dangerous way? Today’s Society is divided over this issue, whether to use animals for our convenience or not to. It’s here to stay, this disagreement over ‘animals being used for food’, a disagreement about one’s freedom of choice and independence of lifestyle. When I feel frustration and impotence and am ignored and disliked for being vegan, for pushing vegan issues, it’s hard to stay cool and calm. But my short-temper is probably hard to take because when the emotions get fired up there’s no reasoning with me. So, you avoid me, run away, close down and certainly don’t make things worse for yourself by giving me a chance to present my arguments. (I live in a dream world about this, expecting you to listen, to ‘get it’, to welcome my passion and admire me for it). However, once I take away my revenge element and replace it with unconditional patience, it’s likely you’ll be so relieved at my behaviour that you’ll give me the chance to explain what’s behind this whole idea of ‘animal liberation’. All I need to do is modify my aggro, not my passion.