Turning nasty

462a:

In public some of us vegans protest in the streets (or in the media) for Animal Rights, but are we aware of how we come across? In our fierce fight for ‘rights’ we might not have any room for fancy ideas like ‘having all-round-respect for animals and humans alike’.
In my daily interactions with people, when I bristle if people don’t agree with my point of view, I try not to show it. I usually make a pathetic attempt to smile warmly, as if I’m above being offended. It never works. And then when I don’t try at all it’s just as bad - I just snap at something they’ve said. And this, I think, screws my attempt at animal advocacy. Amongst those of us advocating this difficult subject, the ‘approach’ we choose to take is the big controversy in the Animal Rights and Vegan movements - how we appear to the general public.
I’m not always proud of the way I come across when I ‘lose it’ with someone. When I don’t take enough care how my words are couched and deal badly with the issues. Is it just a matter of my being more sensitive? I’m not sure. Some say “go in soft”, others like to throw their weight about. But in the end it comes down to communicating effectively - surely that’s what it’s all about? Getting people to want to hear what we have to say, as if it might be interesting, informing.
I try to imagine an omnivore listening to me talking about my interest in Animal Rights. You can almost see them waiting for my punch line, my inevitable, thinly veiled insult. And I can almost hear them thinking how impossible it is to identify with me and with what I’m saying. Vegans and activists in general already have a reputation for their high moral platform, and whether it’s valid or not there’s a gut reaction to vegans. The concern is not usually about the food we eat but as to whether we are violent or non-violent in our nature. People are often on the lookout for the first signs of our ‘emotional blackmail’ or for us to be trying to prove them WRONG, or to say something meant to humiliate them.
How does any omnivore feel confident that ‘our views’ will be expressed in a reasonable way? As vegans, if we come across as fierce, we may reinforce that evangelical image some of us have, and end up losing our listeners for ever. And what that bequeaths to other vegans who might come along later is anyone’s guess!
Whatever the subject, when I get steamed up about it, it’s my emotion, my passion or my outrage, that shows up first. If I succeed in making someone feel uncomfortable then any logic or fact or argument I might have been using is drowned out by my ugly approach - vegan shouts: listener cringes. What the listener so often does NOT do, is say “that is so true and from this moment on I’ll give what you say a go. I, just like you, feel outraged”, and yet this is what we intend them to come out with.
Animals: they’ve invested in one way of looking at this animal issue and held that view all their lives. They’re not going to agree with me lightly, especially if they have a ham sandwich in their lunch pack!
If my outrage doesn’t come across as being quite cool then what will? I’m not so sure about ‘cool’. I think I’m too old to appear cool, but for younger activists it is a crucial part of acceptance that they are ‘cool’, which means their base-line is something others can work from. I suppose it’s a style of behaviour which would, in this case, be showing an attempt to answer questions whilst keeping emotions under control ... and NEVER turning nasty with people when they disagree with us.